boss is messin' (not with me)
Find a Conversation
boss is messin' (not with me)
| Tue, 08-17-2010 - 4:21pm |
My boss' wife and youngest child are out of the country and I just saw that he has an email confirmation for a reservation for two for tonight for a very romantic restaurant.
He'll be back from lunch in about an hour. What do I do? He's a friend. His wife is a friend. I've known him for 6 years and, although he's my boss, I rule the roost. We do not have the typical boss/employee relationship at all.
Help!
Thanks,
Dee

Pages
Ohh, wow...tough question.
Personally, if I were in your shoes I would be cautious not to get too involved but Im also the type that Id let him know in a subtle way that I knew.
Maybe at the end of the day today when you say your goodbyes/see you tomorrows Id add in a sarcastic "BTW, have fun tonight" all while making direct, solid eye contact. I wouldnt even walk away right away, Id hold the gaze and make sure he was looking at me and the DEAD SERIOUS look I had on my face.
He's playing with fire.
Keep us posted Dee!!!!
GMLB
Whoa - that's a tough one. My knee jerk reaction is don't go there, don't get involved. What if it's innocent? You could be jumping to conclusions. Would he take a chance with a reservation email if it's a clandestine meeting? And if it's not innocent, chances are it's already been going on for a bit if a romantic restaurant is involved. Have there been any other red flags?
Bodhi
ZERO red flags, EVER. I hear every single call he makes, personal and otherwise. Even with his door closed, I hear everything. I have access to his emails, I know he doesn't know how to IM, I know that he doesn't like texting and hardly ever does it (and I know when he does.) While he was gone to lunch, I checked his computer history -- nada. Although, I did see him texting earlier and thought nothing of it until just now.
re: whether or not he'd risk a reservation for a clandestine meeting? bahahahahaha. Bodhi! of course he would. A-havers are risk taking idjits; you know that! ;) My gut tells me something is up - and that this might very well be the first opportunity for shenanigans (the quality of the restaurant is the norm for him and I don't think an indication that "it's been going on for a while".) I think I would have been on to him, if this were not the first time. Another reason I'm panicked; I think this is the first of it and I want to nip it in the bud!!
He's back in the building now and I'm just waiting for him to come in. STRESS!
Update:
He just walked in and I said, "who you going to X with?" he said, "my girlfriend X from X company" (he always calls everyone a boyfriend or girlfriend. He called the janitor my boyfriend because he's nice to me. so that is not an alarm bell.) Then, I gave him the dead-eye stare, and said that I hope she's paying for it. Xperson is not very good looking but you never know. I am going to keep an eye on him.
Thanks for the help.
Dee
Edited 8/17/2010 5:08 pm ET by deeulta
You may rule the roost at work, but you don't rule the roost in his personal life, KWIM? I wouldn't get involved. It's SO not a good idea. You like your job, right?
I have a sort of similar situation. A friend's wife has been screwing around on him with some young buck, of this I am certain. He knows that something's wrong. In the last like five months, she has completely changed. Lost weight, started dressing much younger, wearing thong underwear, going out with 20-somethings to party (she's 37), spends hours texting and FBing. A few weeks ago her husband was out of town and she had a little party with this young guy in attendance. Actually, it was just this young guy and a small group of us from the neighborhood and such. It was so obvious that something is going on if you paid close attention, which i did. I know all of the signs having been there myself. Anyway, two weeks later I was having a conversation with her husband and one other person, and he was talking about her. It would have been the perfect opportunity for me to jump in and tell him things I'd seen. I didn't. I have also had the opportunity to say something to her. I didn't. Why? Because I don't want to get involved in their drama-rama. Honestly, what good does it do to get involved? None. They have their own path to walk. It would be real easy to jump in and play fix it with them, but in the end, I know it would do no good. They have their own passion play going on, and it will end as it will. I'm not God, and I can't mess in other people's lives. You've heard the line about shooting the messenger, right? I say leave this alone and let him hang himself. This isn't about you in any way.
Good gosh - I'm so fog free at the moment of COURSE I wasn't thinking that your boss ISN'T thinking and would make reservations and have them emailed where the world can see!
You could just go up to him and ask him if he's decided to channel Don Draper.
In all seriousness, ask him what his plans are - no harm in that - see what he says.
Bodhi
Hi Dee
I would really advise you not to discuss this in any way with your boss.
I am thinking if you are as cool as you say you are with your boss, I mean tight and cool and alll...super laid back, and can just vibe, then a little comment here or there should not hurt too bad. It may be nothing. Go with you gut and the confidence you have in your relationship with your boss...
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Pages