A breakthrough
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 02-02-2005 - 10:02am |
Good Morning,
Well, I have decided to try to make things work. I feel that my medication has kicked in enough so that I am thinking clearly. I still have doubts, but I did take vows and I need to feel like I've done everything possible to save the marriage.
So last night, I had the *sex* talk with him. I said that we need to spice up our sex life and that it was primarily my fault for falling in to the rut we were in. I said that I always felt too shy or embarrassed to tell him how I like things, or my fantasies. I shared some of my fantasies with him, and guess what? We had the best sex that we have ever had in our 14 years together. So maybe there is hope that I can have passion in this relationship.
I still think about OM, but I am trying to channel those feelings to my husband. Again, I don't know for sure and like I said yesterday, if OM contacted me, I wouldn't be able to resist talking to him. But I can't pine away for someone that I don't even know all that well or for that matter know if he has any real feelings for me.
Wish me luck!

So happy you got to this place. I wish you all the luck with your marriage.
Congratulations!
Namaste,
Congrats to you on your success and new found perspective! I'm so happy to hear about your earth shattering sack session as well (my fave subject)
I think that we will always have the memories of our A partners and always kind of wonder what things would be like with them. But the fact that we are able to pull our sh*t together and get back on track with whats important makes us all the better in the end.
Good luck to you and don't beat yourself up if you do break NC. Just remember how good you feel today and let that get you through whatever may come.
~nuttmeg