Breakthru in communicating my anger with H!!
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Breakthru in communicating my anger with H!!
| Tue, 11-09-2010 - 10:34pm |
Okay...now if only I had learned how to do this before the lousy A began. Well, this afternoon I had a heart-to-heart with H. Today is HIS birthday, so we had some time together over the lunch hour. I have been trying to process what makes me tick, what made me enter the A, and how I can address self-esteem issues so I don't ever choose that A path again. In T about it all, and I have a great T. I finally unloaded all the messy details of my A that I had been so desperately holding back from her. And so, today, my H asks how my therapy is going. Well, aside from the A stuff, I can tell him everything else (I have not gotten up the courage to tell him about the A and for now, I really feel that it is best) so...I tell him about the anger stuff. And I think we had a really great discussion! It was a breakthru and he told me that he really needs to be more sensitive about how he talks to me on a daily basis, specifically regarding church and issues pertaining to that.
So, yay for the communication!! I love my H, he has always been easy to talk to and I need to open up my eyes to see what I truly have that is special in that man. My anger and self-esteem issues have clouded my vision. And the A provided the thick fog. Clearing that out really really helps. :)
Hearts <3

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!
This brought smiles to my face!!!!!! Great going!!!! That's awesome!!!!
It seems that YOU are breaking down YOUR wall to intimacy with someone who can REALLY give it to you!!!!! Your hubby! And it was wonderful that he responded with respect by letting you know he wants to be more sensitive to your feelings! This reminds me of a quote I heard recently:
"I'm Sorry" is a statement. "I won't do it again" is a promise. "How do I make it up to you" is a responsibility.
It sounds like your hubby is a guy who's able to take the responsibility part seriously. :)
Look at you! You are just rockin the confidence!!! I always think its a good sign when we women can CONNECT with our anger. Not in a crazy, out of control way - (see I even have to qualify it) but I think it takes alot of confidence to be angry with people we love. I know for me...I am always afraid they'll leave me if I show them my anger or if Im angry at them. And believe me - that's without being abusive. :)
Your therapy seems to really be helping you - along with the board! oH and No Contact..Oh and feeling ON fire at 40! oh and...
Hearts this sounds great!
* I think your post also offers some great advice for people going to counseling/therapy ... if you're hiding parts of yourself back than you aren't getting to the deeper issues. *Your* therapist can't be a mind reader, and unless *you're* going to be transparent in therapy, *you* can't expect to be on the road to healing too quickly. It takes some time to build up trust to share, I get that; however, admitting to having an affair will expose to your T many insights into what might be happening for someone.
TU.
GMTA. I just said this in another thread before reading this one. FULL DISCLOSURE, peops. ;-)
I am so happy for you that you had a breakthrough in communication with your H and that he was able to hear what you had to say. I think that's what we all need, is to be heard. It makes such a difference in our relationships when we give each other the mutual respect of putting value in each others thoughts. This is a great step in your healing!