Breath knocked out!!! Help.
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| Tue, 11-02-2010 - 3:24pm |
OMG, OMG, OMG. I just learned some devestating news about xAP. I want soooooo badly to reach out, send a text, tell him how sorry I am for him. That I'm thinking of him during this time.
I don't hate him; never did. Just recognize it was a mutual ego-boosting thing we did. He never claimed to love me, I never claimed to love him. We only expressed a fondness for one another. We never fought, never had ugly words. There was no ugly goodbye.
The compassionate side of me wants to say something to let him know I know and how very sorry I am. But that will be breaking NC. I DON'T want to go back to the A and am not looking for a way to wiggle back in, but for goodness sake, I'm not an inhumane, unkind person. My heart is literally breaking for him right now. What should I do???????
~alwayst2

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((Alwayst))
Although not the same thing as hearing devastating news, I just went through a very difficult moment myself with my XMM. As you all know we work together and have known each other for 21 years. He is leaving for out of town in the AM to watch his middle son's deployment ceremony a few states away from here. I know he is hurting terribly inside but I could not, and would not give him the emotional support I know he wanted/needed. All I could say to him as I walked out the door was, "I know this is an emotional time for you but I am lost for words." His response was, "It's okay. It is what it is", not referring to our situation, but to what his son must do for his country. Little did he know that his words are what I am always saying on here re. our affairs. On the drive home I had a lump in my throat because if he had been anyone else, I would have been able to hug him/her in a heartbeat. I can't go there now because we tarnished the innocence that such a moment could have held.
Reaching out to your Xmm would do nothing but hurt yourself and/or him. I knew this too, and that is why I was just short of being a cold hearted biatch. I fought back my feelings of confliction as I drove the 12 miles home, cranked up the radio, and maybe drove a little faster than I should have, but I wanted to put distance between us as fast as I could. Let me tell you something....LC sucks rotten apples. I'd just about give anything (children and grandchildren not incl.) to not knowing what is going on in JAM's life.
Whatever happened to your Xmm, remember he has a family, friends, and probably a support group to get him through. My mind flashed to these thoughts too as I was driving home.
Love and hugs,
well shoot Iddy, if that did not nail it...what would? Always...ya see what i am sayin? Momma Bear herself still has to put on her game face after all these years. Not easy, but the right thing to do.
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Well shoot!
Huge hugs,
TU.
This too shall pass. You just throw it in your grieving basket until you can accept it for what it now has to be.
((Hugs))
Alwayst-
You don't have to hate him.
Not sure what the difference is between 'quick reply' and 'reply', so I chose reply so I don't have to reply quickly :)
I don't hate my xJAM.
Catching this late. I can't add much, the good ladies here have offered up their best advice to you. One thing that I thought of as I was reading your post was since xAP is a public figure, what if someone reads or has access to his texts? Best to leave this alone. In this day of hacking and spying, we can never be assured of complete privacy. And there is no need to let him know how you feel. Make yourself stronger by knowing you are doing the right thing.
Always 2 I have little to add to what has already been said!
But I do feel for you!
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