Brighter Days for 2010

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Brighter Days for 2010
6
Thu, 02-11-2010 - 5:44am
This is such a simple thing, but I guess we all come to terms with having an A in our own way. Last night I was watching a movie on tv. (Why did I ever get married) or something like that. I have seen the movie before, but I was still in affairland. Well anyway in the movie all the married men were sitting around chatting, about thier marriages. They were talking about cheating, when one man mentioned 80/20 rule. Where you have 80% at home and for some ungody reason we go out and settle for 20%. It hit me like a ton of bricks, no my H is not perfect, and obviously neither am I. But dam at least what I have with H is real, not perfect but real. I went to bed last night and kept repeating in my head 80/20, Woke up and just had to write it here. Make sense to anyone?
love
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2010
Thu, 02-11-2010 - 6:27am
That is soooooo true

Life is too Short ... A. since Mar 29th 2009

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Thu, 02-11-2010 - 9:08am

Love,


I saw that movie when it first came out at Blockbuster and thoroughly enjoyed it; probably because I was

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Thu, 02-11-2010 - 10:51am

Hi iddy ---- Not sure why it hit me so hard, but all morning,i just keep telling myself 80/20 who the hell wants 20% not me

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Thu, 02-11-2010 - 11:46am

I love this board and all of you have helped me so much. Your comment on the 80/20 hit home. I have a great H who loves me, respects me and has tolerated my mood swings that have been caused by this A that he knows nothing about.


My

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Thu, 02-11-2010 - 12:05pm

Ohhhh! I _like_ this! 80/20.
Ya know, I've given my DH, like, maybe.... 30% over the last 18 months. Without throwing blame (because I like to blame him for pulling away first!), he's in the same crappy marriage I'm in, but did he cheat? Nope.

I wouldn't trade the 20% with xAP for the 30% or even 5% with DH, in any event. Mostly because, at least with DH, I have the _potential_ for more. DH and M are an INVESTMENT in a better future, with the potential for 99.9%, done right. Return on investment (ROI) is about nil with AP. I'm so glad I figured that out for reals before I did anything terminal to my M. Whew. dodged that bullet, thank God.

x
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Thu, 02-11-2010 - 5:13pm

I know what you mean about hitting home.....My H loves me also, we have some major problems. But I know what needs to be done on both of our parts. Its time I work on our M. I am crying right now, because the addiction is huge......But all day I kept repeating 80/20 in my mind.....It seems to work.

love