Broke the NC after only 1 day-ugh
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Broke the NC after only 1 day-ugh
| Tue, 09-14-2004 - 11:45am |
I kept getting these weird blocked id phones calls that were hang-ups yesterday. I panicked and thought maybe it was his GF looking for my H. He had said he might move out over the weekend & I didn't know if he did or not. You guys told me about anonymous call rejection and I did that but then still stupidly e-mailed him to see if it could have been her. He just gave a brief no reply. I feel like such a jerk, why did I panic and do that? I'll bet the thinks I made the whole thing up as an excuse to e-mail him. Boy, I have fed his ego to no end these past few weeks. I deleted him from my list and I hope it stays that way. He's going on vacation for a few weeks so I wouldn't have heard from him anyway but I have a feeling that he'll contact me when he gets back. I hope by that time that I no longer want to hear from him in any way. From reading here, I'm starting to see what this was about for him and althought it pains me to admit it, I think it was a game. I remember in the beginning when we were only going to lunch and the idea of an A. was unthinkable to me, he pursued me relentlessly and kept at it until he broke down all my defenses. I do have to say, I had ice cold fingers around my heart at the thought of being caught yesterday. It has been incredibly easy to keep this a secret all these years and I have had very few close calls. I'm thinking that the fear I felt yesterday must show which one of the relationships is really important to me and which one I really want to keep?

Buy Jov I think she's getting it.
If you were caught you would end up kicking the hell out of yourself wondering way you ever did it but by then it would be to late.
Free