Broke NC, how low can I go
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Broke NC, how low can I go
| Mon, 01-24-2011 - 12:30pm |
Hello,
I broke NC this weekend with xAP. I know, I know, kill me. I heard a song that made me think of her and sent her an email and a few texts. She thinks she's back in now. I feel so low, I truly want this to be over. We have been LC for a year and there will never be PA again I can promise that. But this EA has gone on for a while and it's just stupid. As I said before I have tried to break this off by being nice, in person, by email, by phone etc. Doesnt work. I even told her that her kids were spoiled and that her

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lol oh Lolly ..."Richard"
Dang.....I missed all the excitement today...LUVIN was busy and missed out on getting busy in this thread...WOW...
OK....I am not going to go in on you Amex....just going to kindly request that you try, really try, to help us, help you. If you really want our help, you are going to have to listen. REALLY listen. No matter what we tell you, its all up to you what really happens in your life.
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
And furthermore....
Please check the cavelier attitude at the door
Amex just a few things.
* Definaely NOT a gender issue. I and a few others have been jumped on MUCH worse than you. You wanted to get that extra 1% of oomph to end the A, the EASers have given you gold here- its time to man up and accept that what you have done previously is simply not working.
* You are surprised that everyone has jumped on you for not letting go- you have said a few times 'She wont let go of me! Comprende'. Sort of rude mate- particularly when your whole thread started with 'Broke NC..' and went on to explain that you contacted her after hearing a song!
Lolly,
I apologize if I attacked you. I felt I was misunderstood. Plus the nature of this board is you make a post and like 10 post come in all at once. Just the nature of the board, but when ten people come at you, you might become defensive. Just human nature.
I didnt say shame on you, I said "it's on you". Different terms. Just like you said it's my responsibility to end it. The first words of your post were "Um, duh". A little strong for a new person isnt it? Then you said WAKE UP. I wasnt supposed to be possibly mad in that?
Below you say: He KEPT CALLING ME. (SOUND FAMILIAR?)
No, doesn't sound familiar. I rarely call or contact her. I have gone LC for a year at my request. So no I'm not calling her at all.
Again:
"""you keep saying if someone doesn't want you - YOU are out the door - and yet YOU AREN'T. YOU are still there """"
Thats not what I said, she DOES want me. Perhaps you misintrepreted? I rarley contact her.
I understand the tough love, really do. But at 98% affair ended, not sure I need it. If you are trying to protect her because i won't cut the final cord with her great. I understand. I was just looking for some friendly advice on how to pull the final trigger. I'm sorry that you took offense to my statments but if you attack someone and put them in a corner, they're gonna come out fighting. Human Nature. I hope that I can continue to be on this board but not if I cant think out loud and not be attacked. Willing to discuss further if you wish.
Amexdm
So Amex, have you blocked her yet?
Just wondering.....
Hope you are feeling better/stronger since you started this thread.
((Hugs)))
Mom Garfy,
Thanks so much for your thoughtful response. God knows ending A's is tough enough on our own. I think we share some things in common that you mentioned. I too have been on NC and broken many times. I can actually tell kind of a funny story actually. I have tried to go NC alot over the last 1/12 years. I can promise you at least like FIVE times I would say to myself or AP, dammit I'm going NC. And I swear to God that VERY night my wife would pick a fight with me. She has anger issues and would just go ballistic. Usually over something little. but I felt like it was some sign telling me that it was not the right time to end A. It was like some earthly force. But the outbursts by wife are gone. She has fixed herself.
I agree LC doesnt work. Sure as heck not. She always said she wanted to remaine friends but I think we all know it doesnt work. I cant wait for the freeing of NC. I know it will be hard but it all passes in time.
I know she will move on after NC. I am not stupid enough to realize that. She always said she was bad at endings. Believe someone when they say that. And there were times when I didnt want to let go either.
Thank you for understanding the deaths i had. I'm not looking for sympathy but when your whole support system breaks down, you have no one to talk to. AP was ther. But as you said, in the past. I'm so glad you and H are happy. I am happy to come home too. Ready to move on.
So. Point. You were the only one to suggest I send a final text or email. I used to not call her for like 3-4 days and she would always say " 3 years doesnt deserve a goodbye" And that always sucked me back in. I did send her a short email tonight and said remember the good, move on, blah blah blah. I have to hope she gets it this time. But am I done. Help me and hold me to it if you want. I hope soon to go to bed with a clear head and no guilt some day.
Congrats on your time NC and thank you for helping me! Don't give up on me yet.
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