Broke NC, how low can I go
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Broke NC, how low can I go
| Mon, 01-24-2011 - 12:30pm |
Hello,
I broke NC this weekend with xAP. I know, I know, kill me. I heard a song that made me think of her and sent her an email and a few texts. She thinks she's back in now. I feel so low, I truly want this to be over. We have been LC for a year and there will never be PA again I can promise that. But this EA has gone on for a while and it's just stupid. As I said before I have tried to break this off by being nice, in person, by email, by phone etc. Doesnt work. I even told her that her kids were spoiled and that her

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Amex,
I have very little patience or tolerance for the kind of behavior you are exhibiting....the ole "if you don't like me and play with me, I'm gonna take my marbles and go home" attitude.
Iddy was NOT attacking you. She wants you to stand up and take responsibility for your part of the A and to fully acknowledge that it is over. Your words still contain a measure of doubt.
Listen, Iddy kicked my ass months ago when I was trying to end (unsuccessfully that time) my A. I literally cried after she called me out on my mush, wishy washy BS. I was so hurt. I hated her!!!! I thought she hated me. I left the board and went back to my A, where I could take some solace. BARF.
It was much later when I realized everything she said was right. She wouldn't be here as our CL if she didn't know what she was talking about. Do you think it's fun for Iddy to spend so much time trying to help someone and all she gets is resistance?? Do you realize she has a full time job, a family, a life of her own, yet she VOLUNTEERS many, many hours here in, reaching out and helping
Always,
Whoa, now, hold on there.
"She (Iddy) wouldn't be here as our CL if she didn't know what she was talking about."
I would agree that Iddy is one of the better moderators on these relationship boards (certainly one of the best EAS has had), BUT, lets be clear here that there are no requirements for anyone to demonstrate "knowing what one is talking about" to be a moderator of an IV board.
Yes I ended my A/ 5 days NC. I will update details in another post.
We are not a debate board.
The guidelines for this board are clear, as are the expectations of the community as established and maintained by the posters who contribute regularly to keeping this place a healing space by encouraging accountability, reflection and honesty in the ENDING of an affair.
CG,
Not sure how long you've been on this board. I know you're mostly a lurker. I'll tell you as long as I've been here (nearly a year off and on), a couple rules have always existed and strict adherence to them has been unwaveringly emphasized. Those rules are NC, no post-A friendship, and turn the focus on one's self to discover the true issues. All the posters with a little post-A time under their belt--those who are still here and those who only drop in sporadically--all encourage the same thing to newbies. So I'm not quite sure how that could be interpretted as any type of "attitude" by
((Alwayst))
Once a diamond in the ruff, you have become a priceless gem on this board. I thank you for having my back but truthfully, I am not all that...just a gal who once was real good at flushing the toilet; watching my dignity, integrity, self respect and self worth swirl down the pipes into the sewer.
BUT, it's the lessons we learn from reducing ourselves in such a self destructive manner, and unless we diligently work day in and day out at regaining those lost parts of ourselves, I guarantee there will be more toilet flushing in the future. After 6, now almost 7 years, I can honestly say I am a completely different person; someone I can see in the mirror and not be scared to death of. (except for those wrinkles and gray hairs that have made an appearance), but hey, that only shows a long life lived, and may I add, one that is no longer full of regrets.
I have my days where I am ready to throw in my hat (oh yeah, the new board took that away :smileywink:). Many times the arrogance and self pity that floats around here is more than frustrating to say the least. Then we have posters that think this is a debate board and I have to set them straight, but all in all, the people here are in need of help and aren't afraid to ask for it. This is what keeps me hanging around. I want to give back what was given to me. No, I am not some A-ending expert..just someone who offers the advice and support that was once given to me. I teach/preach what I have learned/belive to be the BEST way to end an A because those techniques worked for me. (Are the naysayors paying attention?)
My new philosophy around here is"Take it or leave it," but please have enough respect toward those who have been here before you NOT to belittle the experience and knowledge they are trying to pass along.
Thanks, honey, for being you.
xoxo
Always,
"Not sure how long you've been on this board."
About 8 years.
"a couple rules have always existed and strict adherence to them has been unwaveringly emphasized."
Not at all true.
"So I'm not quite sure how that could be interpretted as any type of "attitude" by
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