Broke NC but so far so good

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2004
Broke NC but so far so good
3
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 11:09pm
I did it today. I broke the 6 day NC but, to make the glass half full I MADE IT 6 DAYS...the longest ever in 9 months!

I contacted him on a work matter after I had exausted all other resources. I emailed and tried to retrieve it, but for some reason it didn't retrieve so he got it. We emailed back and forth about work and ONLY work. He did try to throw a personal email in, just something funny only he and I would get, but that email I ignored like it wasn't even sent. He even sent one saying have a good weekend and I didn't tell him to back. I want nothing personal, not even wishing him a good day or weekend or even how are your kids, nothing.

I still have my email and IM blocked at home so he cannot contact me here and I plan on keeping it that way.

I'm kind of glad, in a way, I broke NC the way I did...no drama or anything, just pure work, since I do have to see him in a very small room in a meeting with very few people next week. I abruptly cut contact between us off and seeing him after that would have been extremely awkward. I am just trying to put our work relationship on a comfortable level. I am acting as though the "A" never happened as someone suggested I do. I can't promise I won't just melt like an ice cube in Hell when I see him Wednesday, but I really need to get stronger and stronger between now and then to handle it. I am working out like a fiend, it makes me feel strong and gives me a "don't mess with ME" attitude. It also helps when I refer to him in my head as "Debbie's husband" instead of Bob...(the names have been changed to protect the innocent :). Anyway, so far, feeling good. Hope it carries over until Wednesday!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 11:32pm
Need

Sounds like your making headway, just keep it professionaly impersonal, do it long enough and he will get the point.

Good luck to you

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Sat, 10-16-2004 - 8:38am

Need2Be!


That is awesome! You did a perfect job handling the situation, and you have inspired me so much! I'm in a similar situation with xOM, and had to see him yesterday. Although he came to "visit" and was chitchatting in a "friendly" way (wasn't necessary to work) I kept the topic STRICTLY about office stuff and wouldn't let the conversation go anywhere personal. Just office politics, work gossip, etc. There were other people in the room so as soon as it was comfortable I turned back to my computer and started working. OK, so I did melt (a little :) ) when he touched my shoulder on the way out and said "you know where I work, too! Don't be a stranger!" BUT I simply replied "Have a great weekend!"


I, too, want a comfortable work relationship. I think one day it will be, and yesterday wasn't a bad start. But it did shake me up a little because I wasn't expecting it. Maybe since you know you are going to see him, and you are already preparing for it, it won't be too bad. You sound like you are SO strong and doing so well!


Thanks so much for the inspiration and hope!


Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sat, 10-16-2004 - 1:11pm
hi there Need2--

I love the "Debbie's husband" rather than "Bob" thought process! I adopted that thinking this morning after I read your post and I really like it! XMM belongs with soemone else and it helps to have that label for him in my head rather than his real name.

thanks!!

Meg