Broken

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2014
Broken
26
Sun, 03-02-2014 - 1:49pm

I'm new here and am SO thankful I found this site... I'm a MW my AP started ignoring me and went NC so I'm assuming it's over, it was an online EA he lives in a different country but met once I went to visit him for 2 weeks... I stupidly sent 2 emaila this morning and he never responds, I know I know I need to realize it's over and I've been reading A LOT of posts and they have helped... I'm going NC as of now, tomorrow will be day 1, please wish me luck on my journey of healing my H now does not know about the affair and I will not tell him to save any hurt. , this is why I am here looking for support and new friends. 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2014
Sat, 03-08-2014 - 5:24pm

Thanks Clarity... I really never looked at it like that, the only contact we had was through email so I blocked the contacts email addy so no more getting info I don't need... Day 6 NC and I'm feeling good :) 

Enjoy your Saturday you deserve it!!!

Angel

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
In reply to: wClarity
Sat, 03-08-2014 - 10:28am

You're welcome, Angel :)

Okay, it seems like you have one more avenue to close down...as in that avenue in which you are getting information about your xaffair partner. Your day was interrupted with anger due to news about him...so it is keeping you engaged, and is kinda sorta contact, even though in an indirect way.  Do what you can to shut that down.

Happy Saturday!

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2014
Sat, 03-08-2014 - 10:16am

Good Morning!

What a change in events, so yesterday afternoon I was told that my xAP WAS NOT seeing anyone else he was just saying that to get me jealous cause he knew it would get back to me...Funny thing is it didn't make me jealous, sure I was a bit hurt but more angry than anything... It made me realize he's NOT as mature as I thought he was. 

Yesterday was a tough one, today I just feel glad its day 6 of NC and am feeling back to fabulous today GO ME!!! :)

I said to myself yesterday my xAP was the BEST thing in 'NEVER' had...

Thanks again for your support Clarity :)

Angel

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
In reply to: wClarity
Fri, 03-07-2014 - 11:08am

Could be, Angel...could be that day 5. It can happen like that...feeling down.  We get past that date beyond our other NCs.

Good days...bad days, they are all a part of the process. Soon, the good days will outweigh the bad days; and eventually you'll feel free...really free.

Hope you have a great weekend.  I'm always in and out and so keep posting anytime to stay in touch. By Monday, it'll be 8 days. Okay...okay, we're suppose to keep it one day at a time...me bad. :)

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2014
Fri, 03-07-2014 - 9:34am

Good Morning Clarity!

I just want to start off my saying thank you for ALL your support, you have no idea what it has done for my sanity.

My xAP is seperated but he still lives with his wife, I should have mentioned that prior...

Today marks day 5 of NC, it's a bit of a milestone for me since I've never made it past day 4. 

I'm feeling a bit down this morning it's probably due to it being day 5, I'll have a good cry and that usually makes me feel better. :)

I hope you have a great Friday...

Angel

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
In reply to: wClarity
Thu, 03-06-2014 - 6:58pm

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm having a heck of a time signing in here.

Anywhoooo, oh....I forgot that you did meet up.  It's understandable that he moved on if he is single because you were not willing to get a divorce to be with him.

Men tend to accept a situation for what it is and move on quicker than women do.

Keep up the spirit, Ms. Fabulous!

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2014
Thu, 03-06-2014 - 5:23pm

Sad thing is he and I did meet we spent 2 weeks together, he was everything he said he was ....

I think after we met, it was SO MUCH more REAL to him and he wanted me to leave my husband and move there, and I did not want that... So I'm guessing thats why he's ignoring me and seeing this other lady... I do feel fabulous!! :)

NOW knowing he can move on so fast has made this NC so much easier to handle and deal with...

Angel

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
In reply to: wClarity
Thu, 03-06-2014 - 3:44pm

I really dislike the on-line meeting for this very reason.  People can lie, and drop out of the picture any time they'd like...note really giving a care about the person at the other end.  They must figure, "hey, I'll never run into them."

Good for you for not blasting off any communications.  Doing so is not worth your time or energy.  It IS empowering isn't it. 

Use it as a learning experience.

Kudos on Day 4 and for feeling fabulous!

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2014
Thu, 03-06-2014 - 9:24am

Last night was awful, I received a text message telling me my xAP has reconnected with an old girlfriend 1 week after he started to ignore me, who knows how long that's been going on for...  

I just sat there numb and a bit in shock and then it turned to anger, I didn't sleep to well knowing what I had found out. I wanted SO bad to text him and give him a piece of my mind, but I held strong and just said to myself he's not worth it and when I did awake from the little sleep that I did have, I felt SO empowered to keep the NC and to show him that I don't need him, I'm not going to cave... 

Today is day 4 NC, I'm feeling fabulous and am taking control and HE WILL NOT bring me down. :)

Angel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2014
Wed, 03-05-2014 - 3:53pm

LOL your right!!! I did say I wasn't looking back and then wondering about him, sometimes I need to slap myself. :)

My xAP is in another Country, so I'm lucky that way and ALL evidence is on my phone because that's all I would use to communicate with him... But since his ending things I have deleted ALL and everything to do with him, no saved texts,pictures or emails and no numbers... BUT I KNOW, it could still come out one day and if it does I will face it head on and take full responsibility.

I know what I have at home and am not willing to lose it!! :)

Clarity you are the best!!! Thanks for all your advice.

Anglel 

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