Burning bridges behind you
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|Sun, 09-09-2012 - 12:55pm|
I am re-posting this post from RBM - because it's so spot on. There are a lot of newer members struggling with NC, and it is with great hope that this can help, that I re-post from one of the best straight shooters, RBM.
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I am sharing this reply to a PM from a poster on this board, you will get the gist of it by reading. I have edited it to remove some details as they are specific to her, but in general apply to all of us. I hope you agree.
Take a deep breath and step back from this.
Let's go back to when you blocked. Remember why?
You are going to hurt someone. Who is it going to be?
Hanging onto xAP in any way at all, is hurting not only you, but him............and your family. As long as there is any string still attached to him, you are hanging onto him.
I know it's tough. You have to come to a decision as to what you want in life. It time to do it. If you want him in your life, then step up and say it, do it and live with it.
We don't talk about it much on EAS but every A has a expiration date on it. It's going to end, just as sure as your life having an expiration date. It's going to happen, someday, somehow and somewhere. You can change it into something else, but it is going to end as an A. The only thing you can do, is decide what you want to happen afterwards. Do you want to put your H, family and everyone you know, and love in the middle of that? Do you want your AP to be in the middle of it? Breaking up your family? Who is worth that? H or xAP?
If you think you can make a life with him, you are just wasting your time and effort, and hurting yourself by not going in that direction.
It's time to burn some bridges. I know it hurts. I've been through it. I'm still going through it. I'm afraid I would jump at the chance if confronted with making that decision, that's why I believe so hard in block and walk.
It's time to man up. Woman up if you prefer.
I do this only for myself. No one else. I can't handle the insanity of an A. I am worrying about me. I'm taking care of number one. Thats me. There isn't anyone else I can trust to do that.
Then block his email and try and figure out any way that he may ever contact you. Block, block block! Be prepared.
This is for real. Your life depends on it. Your families lives depend on it.
Trust your judgment, you have gotten this far. You know the right road.
I hope this gives you a little push to do the right thing.