This is Bye for now to every friend here
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| Tue, 12-07-2004 - 3:46am |
A candle for and Hi to everyone who's read/ helped me,
during the last weeks I made much progress regarding closure of my A. I can't tell you what it was that helped so much and helped just now, maybe the journey to London + seeing my old friend there, maybe it's just all that time gone by now, maybe it's because relationships with my DH are getting better and better - but I really don't know for sure.
Matter of fact is that I now feel confident enough to leave this board for the moment (I was never one to close a door completely :-)), as I more and more get the feeling I don't want to read any more A-stories, I feel I can't be of much help any more, as the subject of affairs loses interest for me more and more. All that is left of the A in me now, is a dull ache with a barely visible golden hue around it where the A used to be. Moments of this become less and less.
So, I guess, this is (always saying "for the time being") a success story, because I think this is the state most of us want to get to in the end.
I didn't want to just vanish. Before I go, I really, and with all my heart, want to thank each and every one of you who's read my (often long!) ramblings, and stayed with me, answered and helped me so much in all this time I was here (must be about 2 years on + off now).
It didn't really have anyone apart from you women who I could talk to about this; there never was anyone "in the flesh" who would so thoroughly read me, try so hard to understand me, listened so attentively to what I said, and try so sympathetically/intelligently/lovingly to help me.
And it worked! YOU worked for me and with me. It meant and means so much to me to know you were/are there, fighting the same battles. Your constant, soothing or reprimanding presence, your answers, your stories gently pushed me forward on my way. You were there for me when no one else could/would be. I can never thank you enough.
And let me also tell you that leaving this board will not be easy. I will miss you. I will feel lonely at times, for you, the unknown friends with the same scars...
If only on Black & White - but this is a true community here, with all the love and fallings-out and discussions about the community in general. It's beneficial, and it's wonderful; and going without it will be like any other Goodbye: Hard and a bit tearful.
I might be back - but now that most rage, longing, demand for an answer to (then) burning questions, hope for a comeback and a "good ending" still, pain and regrets are behind me, I HAVE to try to go without, move on, see, if my feelings of being able to put all this business of this affair kindly behind me.
And I wish I could stay on to help those which have not come as far as I have - but I truly find now that I have to move on, I have to use this door that's opened to me, and that is leading onto a way where the subject of affairs is completely unimportant. So, this letter also saves the purpose to ask you to please understand my leaving here - and to wish me well for the future - and maybe not to forget me completely...
Here's to all of you, affairs past and present: Here's wishing you strength, courage, and peace at last for a new, fresh start into a better life. Hang in there and don't EVER give up on putting this behind you, however often you have to start again ending it. It CAN be done, even if it takes a long, long time. Don't you ever lose heart on a painful day. It will pass. Never forget that we are the women wonderful, ALL of us. We can do it.
"The story of a love is not important - what is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity."
Helen Hayes
Lots of love,
M.

Lieber Marion,
Sie sind eine warme und schöne innere Frau und heraus. Gutes Glück, lieber Freund und erinnern sich an uns mit Freundlichkeit und gehen zu uns zurück, wenn Sie in der LageSIND.
Ihnen Stärke und Frieden wünschen,
Liebe,
Posie
Dear WITW:
Good luck to you. I am so glad that you are feeling so much better and have a new determination to move on in a great big push with your real life that you have. I will be there with you soon. Thank you for moving on---it helps me WANT to do it and know I CAN DO IT. I am so proud of you.
God Bless You