Calling out to now healing!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2012
Calling out to now healing!
3
Wed, 08-22-2012 - 10:23am

Hey Healing!

Hows you? Hope your doing ok and that lovely baby boy is thriving.....

It must be day 26 by now! Post in and let us know how its all going. It's tough we know and your situation is more complicated than most, but we are here through the good and the tough times, so do let us know how you are doing. Thinking bout you and hope your ok.

Big Hugs

Sunny Soon Xxx

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2012
Thu, 08-23-2012 - 2:19pm

Hi Healing, Good to hear from you!!

Day 27!! Im so so proud of you healing especially when he is fishing. That would be a nitemare for me. Its totally normal to feel how you are feeling, to think about him constantly, but I wonder if its HIM you really miss or might it be how his words made you feel. Think about that Healing. This is a powerful addiction you are trying to kick into touch, an addiction that colours how we think, behave and respond to even the simplest mundane little gestures. I'm wondering has XAP made any big gestures yet, like told his wife about his son, spoken with a family liason officer, a social worker in relation to how he plans to play a role in your sons life. Those are the gestures he needs to focus on making. My guess (and probably yours) is that he's calling to tell you he still loves you or he still misses you. He's missing what you are missing the "feel goods". But your A is over hun, you arent going to sail off into the sunset together and you know that. I know how hard it is to hear and how much it hurts, I still have to tell myself that on a regular basis that my A is over and it still hurts, so I really do know how you feel. You are keeping NC to get the swirling chemicals out of your system, to be able to see and think clearer. He may play a role in yours sons life, he may not, but at least the decisions that need to be made by both off you will be made when you are not both on the highs of a false sense of love. This is a gift for both of you and most especially it is a gift for the most important person in all of this - your son.

 

I think you are totally awesome and incrediably strong, please stay strong, and dont worry about how you will feel in a year, in 6 months even. Just focus on today and maybe tomoro :smileyhappy: You dont have to put on a brave face here hun, if you feel hurt and sad or like sh!t come here and scream it out..... Now remind me what it was you said again.....  "I keep telling myself that it's going to get better with time, and I feel like it has" YES!!! You go Girl!!!

 

Much Love

Sunny Soon Xxx

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2012
Thu, 08-23-2012 - 3:26pm
PS You absoutely must post your NC dstes on Clarity'S thread Healing!! I love me a tweener party :smileyhappy: