Can anyone relate? I think I'm done...
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| Wed, 06-09-2004 - 9:02am |
I wrote a couple weeks back about my MM who told me a fantasy (while we were getting intimate) and it had a bunch of women from work in it. It turned me off, in fact, all I
could think of was ‘just how many of these women has he been intimate with?”
Anyway, I told him that at the time and all he said was “don’t think that”. So we
talked yesterday and again I referred to this and told me it scared me. He just shook
his head no, again, like don’t think that. He asked me if I wanted to get together
for drinks again soon, and I just said maybe.
I em’d him later and told him that I was serious about his story scaring me – I told
him that I can’t stop thinking about how many women he is intimate with. I told him
I just can’t handle it. I said that I just don’t feel the same as I did before. I said I don’t know if this is the only reason or not. And I said this whole thing has been very draining on me. His answer to this was ‘I know it’s hard for you to believe me, but I haven’t shared any of those stories with anyone else’.
He didn’t make any reference to being intimate with anyone. I was trying to give him
a chance to tell me that there is no one else he is with right now (except the W). But
he didn’t.
I am just so tired of all these thoughts in my head. Maybe this is how it ends? Can anyone relate?
Thanks for listening.

If you are totally turned off and want out after this I would go with it - no, RUN with it! I want to NOT want my MM, but it is so difficult when he pulls on my heartstrings.
-Lazy
You are very right in what you say. My ex(I guess) MM used to say romantic/dating type things to me at first, well after 2+ years, it was all about the sex. And our convos were very explicit. There was no mincing words by him anymore. Things I know he would NEVER say to his wife. But we were very experimentive together, and that was the nature of our affair. But he didn't really have feelings for me although it was hard for me to keep from developing them for him. I can honestly say that the thing I will miss most about never seeing him again, is the sex we had which was the best I ever had. The last time we talked he said he would never again find someone he could trust so much to not even have to use protection, and to have as much fun with. I feel the same way.
I can't imagine I will ever have it that good again with anyone else. And at this point, I will not be looking for anyone else, I am going to try and get H more interested if that is at all possible.
Dusty