Can this be the end? Day 2 of NC - MM really needs your help
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Can this be the end? Day 2 of NC - MM really needs your help
| Sat, 04-02-2011 - 2:35pm |
Hi everyone and after spending quite a few weeks reading both MAS, EAS and touching on a few topics in the Healing area I've decided to introduce myself, especially as it's now such a painful time.
I've been in an A since

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What an unbelievable response from everyone, I really am amazed with the support offered by
Post, post, post and read, read, read...
U will find that the emotions will be up n down n all around, we will help you settle...
Stay the course, you will be so proud. Promise.
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
I am so happy that you've received the welcome you deserve from the amazing members of this community - it was lovely too to see some old faces pop in to offer their wisdom.
The only thing that I would like to add is this: If you care about her, if you want her to be okay, to move on with her life, to free herself from the awful that is the affair, then COMMIT to NEVER intruding into her life again, and/or to never responding if she attempts to contact you.
NC is the ONLY way now to show care, love, respect for her as a person, for your W, and for yourself.
My xAP continued to try and check in to see if I was "okay" and each and every time he did so, he made my journey worse, and I resented the CRAP outta him for assuming I couldn't possibly move on and be happy without him - that I didn't have the strength to do what he was clearly unable & unwilling to do. END THE AFFAIR.
I mean really, what does seeing if she is okay accomplish? What does it change? NOTHING.
TU.
I wanted things to be ended together too, but in the end one someone has to step up and be strong.
Check in again soon NewMan, and let us know how you're doing?
This morning is worse than ever. After dropping my son off at school the feelings of not seeing her were overwhelming. I drove nearby to her shop with the intention of walking in and saying... something.
You are doing the right thing for you, for your son, for your M and for your xAP. Hang in there.
Kat.
NM,
Each time your resist that urge to make contact is taking one more step away from the magnetic pull that has such a strong hold on us. You also start to feel more confident within yourself that you had the strength to resist. We need to find courage at these moments and I heard the following line in a movie this weekend that really resonated with me:
Wow NM-- YOU DID IT
You felt that pull- and the pull is tremendously powerful. I havent always been as strong as you were in early days- but you are right to resist it! It is DEFINATLY not worth it. As you said- what can you possibly gain from it. The A is always going to end! It is always going to hurt when it ends! And continuing it will only cause pain, frustration and anguish.
By remaining strong and not walking in there- you avoided that gutwrenching feeling that you have no control over your addiction. You showed yourself that you HAVE the power to feel that urge AND walk away from it. Sure you may have had to peel yourself from it (I know that feeling well) but you did it!!!
Kat is dead right- NC is a muscle. Exercise it and it will get easier:)
Iggy
Congratulations for not breaking contact! You took yet another step in the right direction. One step at a time Newman. One step at a time. There will be "peaks" and "valleys" throughout this journey of healing and discovery that we're all now on, but remember, one foot in front of the other. No contact =
Oh what have I done...and you all thought I was doing well. :smileysad: Before I came back onto this board I went for my bike ride.
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