can folks support me in being his friend
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| Thu, 07-01-2004 - 11:20am |
It is not easy to adjust to being friends, yet it is clearly much easier if the relationship was a LD one. Then you do not have to deal with the running into each other and really knowing the day to day things. We live 1000 miles apart. As I have said- to me NC is more like dealing with a death of a friend and I am not sure it has to be that way. I do not see it as an addiction per say. I do not need to have him in my life, but I want him in my life-- very different to me.
I also never had any of the negatives in the past 4 years-- we were friends, lovers and there for each other in so many ways and although he is not perfect he is a good person who is trying to figure out how to be happy and I should support that. He never treated me poorly; and as I think about the negatives-- the only really bad thing he did was to quit on us. I do not know why that happened and I am not sure he will ever really be able to explain it-- but it definitely is over. So I can't rant and rave about how terrible things were-- all I can do is accept it and move on form there.
For me- I need the support to be able to adjust to the new friendship - to enjoy it for what it is and not to think it can be anything more. Yes there are moments that I need to vent...and to be honest that is when I come here. There are times when it hurts, but I am trying to keep moving on and being the person I want to be if that makes sense. I think I tend to post here when I am hurting and need someone to "talk to" if that makes any sense. So I guess I am asking if you can support me in being his friend-- nothing more?
tb

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I also realize I have to take care of me and figure out what is going to make me happy. Clearly I am not there yet. I am glad that there are folks here that are going through similar things. It clearly helps to know that. What were the toughest points in adjusting your relationships?
tb
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