Can I come back?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
Can I come back?
44
Tue, 02-08-2011 - 6:53am

I am ashamed and embarrassed to be coming back to the board asking permission to be part of this community again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
Tue, 02-08-2011 - 5:26pm

I gu

Serial Cheaters - Narcissists

A typical reason for infidelity is that one spouse may be a narcissist who often becomes a serial cheater. The narcissist is most likely to have many affairs and will pursue anyone they can manipulate with their boundless words and actions.

Narcissists are self-absorbed and tend to be highly charming. They have a constant need for admiration. They view all events in terms of how the events impact them and them alone. They are master manipulators and feel an "emotional high" with each new conquest. Their behavior is often impulsive which can appear exciting. These individuals lack compassion unless it helps them achieve their goals. They are unwilling to see or consider anything from another person's viewpoint. They will continue the emotional control with a target until the relationship becomes too burdensome. They utilize no moral boundaries in their pursuit of admiration and physical activity from the opposite sex; frequently offering marriage, promises, baptism, children, etc. Literally - whatever the target "needs to hear" in order to close the deal is what the narcissist will say and do. Their targets are usually married which heightens the feeling of conquest. They frequently have several affairs going on at once with no regard to the damage caused by their reckless pursuit of self-gratification. Narcissists develop specialized talents such as crying on cue, "elegantly" deceiving without stumble, saying just the right things at just the right time, etc. all designed to aid in attaining their goal.

Their behavior is more than a lack of self-esteem. It goes to the very core of the individual's personality and is a pervasive aspect of their lifestyle. This character flaw prevents them from keeping marriage vows and in the vast majority of cases narcissists will forever cheat on their spouse(s). It is interesting to note that narcissists rarely divorce and will fight tooth and nail to remain married. This is believed to go along with the "need to be accepted by all" mentality that narcissists possess. As strong as their need is to conquer outside their marriage; they turn into weeping idiots if/when their spouse even suggests divorce

URL: http://able2know.org/topic/101932-1

ess my only redeeming quality was that I kept it to one person :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
Tue, 02-08-2011 - 5:32pm

http://able2know.org/topic/101932-1

Here's the link to the article - for some reason I can't cut & paste.

I would also like to share a quote I just read "Silence is a source of great strength".

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Tue, 02-08-2011 - 6:26pm

Hello W3

Welcome back although I was not here when you left.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 11:39am
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 12:05pm

I get what you are saying. I like what you said about a narcissist being the icing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 12:30pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 1:53pm

Me too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 2:10pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2011
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 6:00pm
it's a combination of things - missing what you THOUGHT was him, the realization that it's over, guilt, shame, remorse....

We do this because we're faulty human beings. but, the good news is, we can overcome and feel good again!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 11:07pm
WIWWM

Welcome back- I remember your strory. Get into the healing library. You need to get tough about this- for you!! He isnt worth any more of your time.

Iggyx
You are what you consistently do