Can I please Join You Please?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
Can I please Join You Please?
10
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 5:12am

Hello all,


I find myself back here after a year! Sunday out of the blue I got a face book request from ex OM. I was shocked and added him... silly old me! He was on line and we spoke.


Next day i got the text msgs

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 6:55am

Sunbeam,


I wasn't posting on this board on year ago , but your name looks familiar. So let me get this straight...You had an A with this man before? Correct me if I am wrong, but if you did, why would you ever except a friend request from him?


Okay, water under the bridge, but the fervent txt messages should have been a strong warning that he was on the hunt again. I can't help but think that maybe this was his whole gig anyway...to suck you back in just to drop you like a hot potato, new girl or no new girl. I could be way off on this too, but it seems it all happened pretty darn quickly and then all of a sudden he's met someone? Yeah, right.


You can block him from FB. I think Newdawnmilk has a thread telling you how to do this. You can also just delete him from your friends list which is what I would do. What he pulled was very insensitive, if not just plain mean. You will then have to accept that this was an error in judgment and another lesson learned.


((Hugs))

~ Iddy~

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 7:35am

Hi, and thanks for you reply,


Yes i had an on off affair with him for 3 yrs.... the last contact

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 7:45am

Well sweetie, I hope you stick around for a bit until the sting of his bite wears off. Re-read our Healing Library and start fine tuning your resolve again. There is a lot of new stuff there too since you have been here, so get busy. ;-)

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2009
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 12:22pm

So sorry this happened to you sunbeam. It looks like he just came back into your life to see if he could still get you to come out and play with him like the old days. It's a conquest for him apparently and perhaps a bit of revenge for your ability to go NC for a year. No matter, it still hurts to think that someone you once cared for could treat you with such disregard. Glad that you have the insight to see it for what it is and come back here and get some reinforcement for your decision to go back to NC. I think we all believe that with time we will be able to handle a "friendly" meeting, but you're correct about the addiction part. It would take so little to rekindle old feelings and then WHAM, you're right back in it.

I'd take Iddy's advice and unfriend him or even better, block him so that he never gets a chance to use you again. If you need any assistance in doing this, please contact me.

hugs,
newdawn

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 4:34pm

This would be a great addition to any of the "don't be friends" threads.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
Sat, 01-30-2010 - 7:35am

hello,


yes it would be a good one for that topic subject....


im sure i will be ok but today I am: weepy, missing him, feeling silly, feeling so stupid as he said he was sorry if i think he lead me on.... . what was the kissing about then?? did i get it wrong, were they not the signals he wanted to send?, and then of course he found someone almost as soon i left him... so i am cast aside and i got it wrong!!!???


so today im struggling ladies and i feel dreadful xxxx


i need your support today i feel like im falling apart xx


thanks x

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Sat, 01-30-2010 - 9:39am

Sunbeam, he DID lead you on, there is NO

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
Sun, 01-31-2010 - 3:55am

hi newdawn,


Thanks for your reply and advice.


I deleted him straight away and deleted his number from my phone..... so thats that.


I wish it was as easy to delete them from your heart .......


Sunbeam

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
Sun, 01-31-2010 - 3:59am

Hi Iddy


thanks again.... i thought i had read it wrong!!


I DIDNT DID I?... he was the one who started the intimate text msgs, and i fell for it again.


I suppose i should have known better from past experience, but i loved him, (love him or thought i did) and i thought this time he felt the same, that he had come back for me.


I do love my family tho, my husband is great and i have a lovely home, which begs the question why does this man mean something to me????


I dont want to be a lady in an affair i want to be the happy lady i was before it.


Sunbeam


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2007
Sun, 01-31-2010 - 4:30am

What he did sounds passive aggressive (unintentional or not). It's a push and pull game.


I'm proud of you for telling him no it is not okay - and for blocking him.