Can I stop him from straying ... again ?
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|Mon, 05-05-2003 - 6:52am|
I initiated NC 4-5 weeks ago, and have been doing great. xMM has tried everything (sms, email, phone, even coming to my office) and is still persistent, but I'm keeping my guard and will not allow him to get back into my life. However, last week, xMM's wife found out about us and phoned me. I felt sorry for her, and all she wanted from me was to confirm the A, as she had suspected him for some time. What hurts me the most, is that when xMM was confronted by W, he immediately phoned me and screamed at me for being the cause of her finding out - told me that he would do everything to protect his family - that he will never give his kids up. I asked him whether he thought about his family or his kids at the time when he traced/tracked me down with full intentions of having a relationship with me? Did he not think about his family when he told me that he's leaving W, and that within six month's we would be together? Not surprisingly, he managed to convince W that nothing happened, and that he will stay faithful (blah...blah..blah). He begged her and I not to contact each other - why, because he is scared that I will confirm and blow his bubble. She believed everything he told her, and is only too happy that they are still together as a family. Good for her!
So, now that the waters are calm at the home front of xMM, he has been sending sms' saying how much it hurts missing me, and that he wish that he could be with me (yeah right). It actually urgh's me to think the odesity he has to actually think that I will succumb to his tricks. His messages only confirms more and more that I do not want him in my life and that I have moved on - that I see him in a totally different light now.
My concern however is, that he will find another woman and do the same to her; because I have been OW # 3. When will he stop hurting women, including his W? How is it possible for his W to be so accepting of his "habits". Why is it that she can be so easily convinced? He told me that his children are going through therapy to help them through this difficult time. Can the W not see what his actions are doing to their kids? Doesn't she realise that her "acceptance" of his actions time and time again, only gives him permission to do it again and again? Because he knows that dear W will never leave him - is it because she is too dependent on him? Why does some women allow men to treat them like they are "nothing".
I know for a fact that if she listens to my story, then she would leave him immediately. I am considering giving her all the details in black&white about our A - hard evidence. Will that convince her? I am not concerned about him or what he will think of me. My concern right now is for his W and kids, as well as the "potential OW" in the not so distant future. Perhaps, this will stop him from straying once and for all.
What do you think I should do? Your comments is appreciated.
Fondest to you all :-)