Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
"I did go to a therapist and brace yourself, she told me to stay in the relationship, to not do anything "rash", that the universe brought him to me, that the universe brings you what you need, and I need him, and I have to figure out what it is that I need, and he's helping me."
This therapist is a quack. I'd bet she is in an A as well and is in some sort of lala land.
Alice, I'm really glad you're not seeing that therapist anymore. It's good for everyone on this board to remember E1's advice to VET the therapist before you start therapy. Keep in mind that therapists are people too -- they sometimes suck at their jobs, just like anyone else might -- they sometimes have an agenda/perspective that does not mesh with yours, nor is it helpful or therapeutic -- and it's YOUR responsibility to get from your healthcare professionals the help you need and want; be proactive in getting it.
Now, my dear, about this A your IN.... can we all agree that today you will not contact him or entertain contact from him? Just today? We'll deal with tomorrow tomorrow. But, for today, no contact? (all hands up who agree that NONE of us will have contact with AP today? it's unanimous. We are all agreed that there will be no contact with AP today.) Ok, with that settled, let's get a game plan in play for you. Please write back and let us know how you intend to protect yourself from your impulses to contact AP. You've read this board enough to know the steps, and it will do you no good for ME to tell them to you again --- perhaps, it will help a little more if YOU YOU YOU tell us what you intend to do.
Goes like this, "Today, I, (fill in name here), will do X, X and X to protect myself from the impulse/compulsion/desire to give or receive contact from AP (better to say Xap, but that has to wait until you get through today.) I will remember X, X, and X are my goals for TODAY and I am committed to ME, MY progress, and MY healing... and NOT focusing on anything other than that, for TODAY."
Alice, love yourself.
Prayers of strength and healing coming your way. Dee
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Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
"I did go to a therapist and brace yourself, she told me to stay in the relationship, to not do anything "rash", that the universe brought him to me, that the universe brings you what you need, and I need him, and I have to figure out what it is that I need, and he's helping me."
This therapist is a quack. I'd bet she is in an A as well and is in some sort of lala land.
It sounds to me that that you can't make that man happy no matter what you do.
Alice,
I'm really glad you're not seeing that therapist anymore. It's good for everyone on this board to remember E1's advice to VET the therapist before you start therapy. Keep in mind that therapists are people too -- they sometimes suck at their jobs, just like anyone else might -- they sometimes have an agenda/perspective that does not mesh with yours, nor is it helpful or therapeutic -- and it's YOUR responsibility to get from your healthcare professionals the help you need and want; be proactive in getting it.
Now, my dear, about this A your IN.... can we all agree that today you will not contact him or entertain contact from him? Just today? We'll deal with tomorrow tomorrow. But, for today, no contact? (all hands up who agree that NONE of us will have contact with AP today? it's unanimous. We are all agreed that there will be no contact with AP today.) Ok, with that settled, let's get a game plan in play for you. Please write back and let us know how you intend to protect yourself from your impulses to contact AP. You've read this board enough to know the steps, and it will do you no good for ME to tell them to you again --- perhaps, it will help a little more if YOU YOU YOU tell us what you intend to do.
Goes like this, "Today, I, (fill in name here), will do X, X and X to protect myself from the impulse/compulsion/desire to give or receive contact from AP (better to say Xap, but that has to wait until you get through today.) I will remember X, X, and X are my goals for TODAY and I am committed to ME, MY progress, and MY healing... and NOT focusing on anything other than that, for TODAY."
Alice, love yourself.
Prayers of strength and healing coming your way.
Dee
Alice,
Power.
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