bravebird, you have already come so far on your soul searching journey. The words you just posted you would not have been able to do 6 weeks ago. I'm proud of you and inspired by your personal growth in such a short amount of time. I know it's still hard, the emotional ups and down, but you are living through them and growing stronger each day.
I appreciate the support from you, hazlerose and new_season. This should validate for Purplerayne that she can and will get the support that she needs when she is ready to move on.
Being in an A certainly is draining. Most everyone here will agree with you on that one. Funny I should read your post just now because I was just thinking a little while ago how much more energy I have now that I've ended my A. I no longer worry about getting caught, about whether I'm going to hear from him, when we can get together next, what am I going to wear, what am
Alwayst- you are so right: "Your A is never going to get better and you are never going to feel any better. The sooner you end it, the sooner you can start healing and the better you will feel. It's like a re-birth almost."
This is hard to believe when you are still in the A, but purplerayne, I hope you can really listen to what everyone is telling you hear. Once you make that step, a huge weight will be lifted from your shoulders. It's a hard step to make- I tried to end my A too many times to count, but it sounds like you are reaching rock bottom. It sounds like the A is causing you more pain than happiness. It was when I reached that point that I had to let go.
Here's something else to think about. Ending your A will be hard. And it will hurt. And you will have some bad days. But for me, the downs on this side of the A are so much more manageable than the downs inside the A. Once you are on the road to recovery, hope will be restored for you... and you will heal.
I hope you have the strength to end it soon. The sooner you do, the sooner you will start to regain your self worth and dignity.
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Purplerayne -
Honestly, I have been on an emotional roller coaster for the past 6 weeks.
Much peace & Love,
Rayne
<
Rayne,
Being in an A certainly is draining. Most everyone here will agree with you on that one. Funny I should read your post just now because I was just thinking a little while ago how much more energy I have now that I've ended my A. I no longer worry about getting caught, about whether I'm going to hear from him, when we can get together next, what am I going to wear, what am
Much peace & Love,
Rayne
<
Alwayst- you are so right: "Your A is never going to get better and you are never going to feel any better. The sooner you end it, the sooner you can start healing and the better you will feel. It's like a re-birth almost."
This is hard to believe when you are still in the A, but purplerayne, I hope you can really listen to what everyone is telling you hear. Once you make that step, a huge weight will be lifted from your shoulders. It's a hard step to make- I tried to end my A too many times to count, but it sounds like you are reaching rock bottom. It sounds like the A is causing you more pain than happiness. It was when I reached that point that I had to let go.
Here's something else to think about. Ending your A will be hard. And it will hurt. And you will have some bad days. But for me, the downs on this side of the A are so much more manageable than the downs inside the A. Once you are on the road to recovery, hope will be restored for you... and you will heal.
I hope you have the strength to end it soon. The sooner you do, the sooner you will start to regain your self worth and dignity.
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
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