Can't say "it's over"!!! please help
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Can't say "it's over"!!! please help
| Sun, 02-15-2004 - 3:42pm |
Here is my story, will try and keep it short. Been involved with MM for 5 months, have not seen him very much sexually, maybe 7 times and then 3-4 times sneaking at work for kissing. We talk on phone very little. Feelings are there on both parts but don't talk about it to each other. Both staying in marriages no matter what. He has to be VERY careful where I have lots of freedom. This is his first affair in many years, he is 46, I am 34. We can't seem to "hook up" and it has been on his end totally. He is having problems at home with one of his kids, he is trying to quit smoking so is on Zyban for that and it is making him really tired and not that he is a big drinker cause he is not, maybe on weekends but is also not drinking anymore, not sure if this is something he is doing permanently. Now we have no excuse for sure for him to get out cause we used to meet at a pub for a few drinks late at night, him sneaking out a few of those times, very risky. Now he won't go to places where the smoking and drinking is temptation, he never said it but I figured it out cause now he not calling like he used to to do that. He told me he has to straighten out cause he does not want to be dead at 50. He won't say the words to end it with me and I won't say them to him, we are scared cause we have feelings for each and the chemistry is unreal. Just believe me when I say I know he is blown away by "us" but he also very petrified to get caught. I don't want this rollercoaster relationship any more. I need it to be over but it is sooooo hard. He is no good for me, I know all this. There is way nicer guys out there for me that won't give me the runaround like this. Not returning my calls, not trying to get together but still "into this" he says..... I asked him many times if this is too much for him and he says over and over that is not and to be patient and relax. I can't relax anymore. I am in my prime sexually you know. I am also married but I love passion so that is why I go elsewhere. What do I do to get over him???? I hate seeing him at work, I just go back to my desk and cry. Last night we talked for a bit and he was nice but didn't want to go out cause he was tired and wouldn't be able to get out anyways cause wife won't let him. I have had it. HELP, what should I do??? one day when he can get out safely I know he will call me.... I should just get over him now don't you think? Should I tell him to never call me again etc.??? I hate to do that, god this sucks. What the hell was I thinking when I got involved with someone like this........

Jazzdiva