Can't stop thinking about exAP

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2010
Can't stop thinking about exAP
4
Tue, 09-07-2010 - 11:08am

Every where I turn, there's something that reminds me of him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Tue, 09-07-2010 - 12:04pm

Hi Cait,


I don’t think I’ve had the opportunity to welcome you to EAS so I’m sending out a belated welcome to you.


As far as all the triggers, yes that will make it very hard if you are frequenting the places you went with xAP.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 09-07-2010 - 12:35pm
As usual, an amazing response E1.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Tue, 09-07-2010 - 3:08pm

Thanks Victory!


Good to see you on with all your awesomeness posting in on threads.


You have a wealthy of wisdom to share and glad to see you stopping by to serve some of it up!


Much love and big hugs,


E1


Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you are probably right.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2010
Tue, 09-07-2010 - 10:19pm

so there is NO way i can compete with E1's thoughtful response, except to tell you that your feelings are NORMAL.

when we first end our As, like any break up, reminders are EVERYWHERE. almost to the point that it seems like the world is deliberately trying to mess with you.

the bigger point though, is that your life has really crumbled in a lot of ways, and the rug has been pulled out from under you. ask yourself this, is it really xAP that you're longing for/missing or is it simply a stable source of love, support and validation that you want? Affairs play a role in our lives, and our AP's tend to fill some sort of void. right now, you need a stable source of support with everything you are going through. it sounds like AP was the closest thing to that you had, and now he's gone, so you feel completely lost.

this is the perfect time for growth and change. because now, you're forced to contend with yourself. its going to suck at first, but i promise, as you re-develop the self reliance that i'm sure you had before the A, your thoughts of xAP will resemble nostalgia and then perhaps even indifference, rather than needing and longing.

good luck cait, know that we are all pulling for you.