Cant we be "JUST FRIENDS".....LOL!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2009
Cant we be "JUST FRIENDS".....LOL!!!!!
16
Fri, 05-14-2010 - 11:27am

Okay, so I feel really strong and really good about once and for all moving on from this A. Something has sunk in that I had been struggling with for a loooooong time (ever since the A started a year and a half ago) and that is the thought of why XAP and I can’t be friends. I use to beat myself up about that and truly believe we could be friends that in fact, we are FWB for the most part, it was as if it was drilled into my head and I’d say …..YES DAMN IT, WE CAN BE FRIENDS no body gets us and our situation is different then others……well a light bulb went off in my head recently and now know in my heart, and believe in my heart that there is no way we can be “just friends”……LMAO, was I really that dumb and naive?


Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008

I cannot imagine being five months pregnant and having my spouse leave me for someone else. Overcoming that situation shows your strength and ability to move forward. I could understand having to be in contact with the father of your children. I can also understand how an amicable/friendly relationship would help you both co-parent and is in the best interest of the children.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Hi there, Chocolatmartini-
I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you yesterday and hoping you were Ok. We have not heard from you in a while and you were on my mind. what has been going on with you? and why have you been away? Please keep reading and posting, ok?
love and peace,
Dee
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Yeah CM, where ya been? I remember your powerful posts..glad you are back. please stay a while.
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2009

Hello bandk73 ~ Here is my answer to your question;


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007

hi life,

I discovered that in the process of trying to be friends we still have expectations from the other AP. And in my experience those expectations were brought over from the relationship we had while still in the affair. Bottom line, you can't expect a friend to act like you expected your AP to act. But we all do/did ! You can't go back after crossing that line. BTDT.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010

Hi Jane,


I was reading the posts again. I had ended this with AP but relapsed about a month ago. I know I'm not suppose to post here but a quote that you had left for someone really touched me.


No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.


This describes him to the T & it's been so hard to let him go because I feel I need him, that I can't breathe without him when if I lived life before him I can do it after him.


Thank you on so many levels.


 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


<

Pages