Hmm, don't remember this subject ever being discussed here on EAS!! I'm curious to know what sweet endearments our xAP's used. But I'm also curious what words of endearments we used. ;-)
From the very first night we spent together, xAP affectionately called me "you precious thing". I came to rely on that,in a way, I measured his love for me with that little saying. He only spoke those words when we were very close or in an intimate situation. My DH rarely, if ever, called me anything other than my name. So of course in my fogged in state of mind, xAP was more of a man, loved me more, etc.... than my DH, simply because he used sweet words. Red flags should have been wrapping around my head!! Fast forward about 2 years into the affair and GASP, xAP stops saying these words to me. It hurts me. I say nothing. I analyze the situation and realize he is backing off, I am too. But again, fogged in and still needing that attention, I'm devastated that I was once so special and now I'm nothing. At some point, I mentioned it to him and he ignored me. He always ignored something he didn't want to answer. Eventually, I saw the writing on the wall.
(just realized, not sure if my post is on subject!)
I called xAP "my sweet man". In the beginning he jumped at the chance to please me and did a few sweet things that I felt were so out of character for him. Fogged in, I saw that as a sacrifice for me. Oh Lord, help me!!
BS to the highest degree. It was all just words, icing on a crumbling tower of cake.
As Alice shared, our XMM were similar. I got called his "corner puzzle piece". I was what made him complete. BLAH BLAH BLAH. He also called me "hottie" and then if he threw a "babe" in the mix, I knew he was being passive aggressive. He would toss in the "babe" when I was asking for more than he could give and he needed to remind me that he was busy and couldnt get away or if he was joking and I took it the wrong way. He would tell me "Babe, have you just not had enough caffine yet?". What an A-hole.
When I was really thick in the fog, I called him my best friend and he called me his soul mate.
But now I see that they are all cut from the same cowardly cloth.
"My love" "My beautiful princess" "Sweetie" "Sweetheart" "Lazy bum" (when he was called in to work during weekend and I was still in bed sleeping) "My angel"
And of course we were "soulmates". Who else would meet in hotel rooms to have champagne and sex? PUKE. We're not into romantic reminiscing here, are we??
Edited to add - mentioned by other posters too, almost NEVER called me by the first name - only at work in front of others. When we've made love for the first time, he said - "Listen, I want to make a big statement here. You know I never call you by name - so here it is - , I love you". And yes, I felt so special...OMG, how stupid.
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My xap's term of endearment for me: "My Sweet Red"
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
fpl
friend
partner
lover.
probably uses it with her now.
he was great at recycling conversations.
TU.
LC/NC since April 14, 2010
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
Hmm, don't remember this subject ever being discussed here on EAS!!
I'm curious to know what sweet endearments our xAP's used. But I'm also curious what words of endearments we used. ;-)
From the very first night we spent together, xAP affectionately called me "you precious thing". I came to rely on that,in a way, I measured his love for me with that little saying. He only spoke those words when we were very close or in an intimate situation. My DH rarely, if ever, called me anything other than my name. So of course in my fogged in state of mind, xAP was more of a man, loved me more, etc.... than my DH, simply because he used sweet words. Red flags should have been wrapping around my head!! Fast forward about 2 years into the affair and GASP, xAP stops saying these words to me. It hurts me. I say nothing. I analyze the situation and realize he is backing off, I am too. But again, fogged in and still needing that attention, I'm devastated that I was once so special and now I'm nothing. At some point, I mentioned it to him and he ignored me. He always ignored something he didn't want to answer. Eventually, I saw the writing on the wall.
(just realized, not sure if my post is on subject!)
I called xAP "my sweet man". In the beginning he jumped at the chance to please me and did a few sweet things that I felt were so out of character for him. Fogged in, I saw that as a sacrifice for me. Oh Lord, help me!!
BS to the highest degree. It was all just words, icing on a crumbling tower of cake.
As Alice shared, our XMM were similar. I got called his "corner puzzle piece". I was what made him complete. BLAH BLAH BLAH. He also called me "hottie" and then if he threw a "babe" in the mix, I knew he was being passive aggressive. He would toss in the "babe" when I was asking for more than he could give and he needed to remind me that he was busy and couldnt get away or if he was joking and I took it the wrong way. He would tell me "Babe, have you just not had enough caffine yet?". What an A-hole.
When I was really thick in the fog, I called him my best friend and he called me his soul mate.
But now I see that they are all cut from the same cowardly cloth.
GMLB
After working through a misunderstanding..."you carve a deeper place in my soul."
NC day #2.
what a line.!!
"My love"
"My beautiful princess"
"Sweetie"
"Sweetheart"
"Lazy bum" (when he was called in to work during weekend and I was still in bed sleeping)
"My angel"
And of course we were "soulmates". Who else would meet in hotel rooms to have champagne and sex? PUKE. We're not into romantic reminiscing here, are we??
Edited to add - mentioned by other posters too, almost NEVER called me by the first name - only at work in front of others. When we've made love for the first time, he said - "Listen, I want to make a big statement here. You know I never call you by name - so here it is - , I love you". And yes, I felt so special...OMG, how stupid.
Love,
Gone
Edited 6/8/2010 6:43 pm ET by gonebabygone
This one hits me square between the eyes!
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