Caught myself before I jumped....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2012
Caught myself before I jumped....
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 3:13pm

Weak moments today.  Just thinking about the good in xAP (but, was there really any?)  and wishing I knew what he was doing.  So, I went to all the trouble to re download an app after deactivating my accounts and was sitting watching the screen as it was busy reactivating and...I clicked CANCEL.  Whew.  I don't want to care whether he's tried to contact me or not.  It won't be anything good, so why would I subject myself to that?  I still have that last text message and that was enough to bring me back to the harsh reality of what this really was.  Hurtful words can open your eyes to just about anything.

I just have to stay away from it and let the days pass.  Boredom or lonliness can lead to no good.  I have to keep busy and I'll be ok. 

I know more days like this will come but I'm glad that for today I was able to resist and just move on. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 3:51pm saved yourself from yourself!  This is the difference between just leaping and looking before you leap.  Think all the way through to the consequences.

I'm really proud of you, Blondehigh.  You had an itch and didn't scratch it.  Saved yourself from bleeding proffusely.

Good girl



iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2012
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 5:04pm

Good for you Blonde.  The curiosity can be hard to handle at times, but you did it, you got over the hurdle.  So happy you did.  It's better not to know.  You're right though, you have to keep busy.  Maybe with the holiday's right around the corner will be enough to keep you busy for awhile.