Cell phone discovery

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2010
Cell phone discovery
17
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 10:33am

Well Friends let me give you some advise about putting blocks on your cell phone.

myShadow (cuz surely this isn't the real me)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2010
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 2:23pm

Phew...thank goodness no one's pulling any plugs.

myShadow (cuz surely this isn't the real me)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 2:57pm

Hi MS,


I will spare you a thrashing because Clarity, Iddy, Luvin, and Debbra said it all.


I will encourage you to look at why when you recognized his voice you didn’t simply say. “I have to go” or

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2010
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 3:31pm

Myshadow,


First of all, hugs to you.

Imustenjoypain!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 4:24pm

No contact....you dont need to call him to tell him, as empowerment said, wont mean much to him. but how you act will speak volumes....something I was told by iddy when I first started posting. Silence is heard, Silence speaks volumes, silence is more powerful....it goes something like that anyway. Vets correct me if I am off....I know I am, but the point is clear...

The point is, if he does not contact you and you hang up the moment you hear his voice, that is silence, if he calls back and you do not answer, that is silence, that silence says more than you can EVER actually say to him.

I am not one for tough love like Clarity, although that is what I needed. I am not and would not pull the plug on you...I just say things how they are.

I am still a newbie, but I know and trust the others here. Know that we are not judging you or attempting in anyway have you beating yourself up. The point of this board is support. If we all just said "baby its going to be ok" and patted you on your head and never gave you real advice, thoughts, and feedback, how you would you have progress?

Change your phone number if he is still getting thru, i know its inconvenient but too bad for him, right? Not to mention it is well worth him not having access to you.

sidenote: do you know his number by hard? I know I always knew my ExAP's, I still know it by hard. Thankfully I have not used it and never seen it in any of my caller id's.

We are here, keep posting, take care of yourself.

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 6:14pm

I DO understand WHY you did talk to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 7:14pm

OMG! I am having Deja Vu, except this is the for real kind of deja vu, not the made up kind.

I broke up with my first serious girlfriend about 20 years ago. After a crappy relationship, we managed to have an even worse breakup. I was in my early 20's and my only saving grace was that my ex-GF went off to travel for the summer.

For three months, I had peace, quiet and room to heal. Think about how easy NC was 20 years ago - breakups were easier when there were no cellphones, IM, e-mail and Facebook :-).

At some point, after three months of no contact, my phone rings (we are talking the days before caller ID, remember those?) and it was her. "Hi, it's me. I am just from my trip and was thinking about you and how much I miss you". After a moment of shock I caught my breath and I remember saying clearly, "Hi. Look, I am really busy and don't have time in my life for you now or ever". I didn't even say goodbye and just hung up the phone.

I remember it so clearly because those were the last words I ever said to the first "love of my life" and I never heard from her again.

I know that it works.

MPV

P.S. I am assuming that all of us have suffered the end of a relationship at some point in our lives. Why is ending an affair so freakin' hard?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2010
Wed, 01-27-2010 - 11:09pm

Great question there Mpov.

myShadow (cuz surely this isn't the real me)

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