Change is in the air?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2003
Change is in the air?
3
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 1:59pm
I saw XMM at the little league field yesterday. I was my usual happy self, said hello as he walked by and then went on to have a blast with my team (we won). What's different is: seeing him yesterday had little impact on me. It was like i almost felt nothing (say a 2 instead of an 8 or 9). Last year, i used to watch him coach his team from afar while i coached mine. I didn't notice this until i got home last night, that I think i only looked over at his game once (and what's important here, is i wasn't try hard not to look--i just never thought about it!). I found out later, XMM spent a good deal of time talking with my H (who was also there), but i was so busy and entrenched in having fun coaching my boys, i didn't even notice all of this. I think this is progress!

I handled myself beautifully over baseball business (as i am second in charge of this) with him. Thanks Chris for your suggestion on this: I will always, and always have, handled myself maturely when i had to deal with him on these matters.

So, maybe, just maybe, the mantras, prayers, NC is working? It was so werid not to feel much at all. I think that is progress.

Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 2:22pm
sounds like progress to me! congratulations!

Jazzdiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 5:25pm
Good job, Clarice. I posted something similar here this morning. I was lonely over the weekend because everyone was out of my house! There are many days and nights when I wish for some peace and quiet and privacy, but I just wasn't in the mood for it on Saturday night. Anyhows, H took DS away for the weekend, and DD was at a sleepover. I watched some crummy old movie on Lifetime that made me cry, that started the downward spiral. The next thing I knew it was like 11:30 p.m. and I was getting ready to go to bed alone in the house (I usually sleep with my handicapped DS6, but that's another story). I felt like the only person in the universe! And how nice it would have been just for the night to have OMM in my arms and in my bed, he would have just sucked all that loneliness and all those bad feelings away. BUT I decided to struggle through the loneliness, deal with the feelings, and not contact OMM. It was rough emotionally, but I made it and boy am I proud of myself today! I know I would have just big making a gigantic mess of things if I had gone back on NC, and OMM, H and I all would have suffered. Good for us for moving on in a positive way!

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2003
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 11:28am
congrats to you momesq. it is very hard. i have a lot of lonely nights too and end up watching movies on the floor as i can't sleep. i can't seem to cry very much, but i think it was good that you did. sometimes i think crying helps.


Hang in there. I think we are getting better.

xoxox

Clarice