Checking in again..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Checking in again..
8
Mon, 01-28-2013 - 1:13am

 Hi everyone so things are progressing nicely. I just keep on ignoring xap I had another episode but I handled it well. What happened was my Sir meaning H and I were at our friend's apt who live by xap having some drinks and social time. Well I was outside smoking my e-cig and my friend was too. We were watching his little boy play outside and my H went to the store. Gavin the little boy was being really silly and I asked him what are you doing and xap answered my question by saying being a wierdo he startled me and then he just walks back into his apt. Before that he had been in his apt with  one of his women for 3 days straight he didnt bother me It stung a little you know... I just keep thinking what he did to me and I just told myself I am above all that fn BS and he is a loser. I am glad to of called him a pri*k and told him that he doesnt deserve me and that he should feel like s%^& all in a letter that he said he didnt read but I know darn well he did! Xap cant admit the fact and let me know I bruised his ego that all I said was the truth. To be honest with you ladies I think I am the first one to stand up to him and call him out and tell him what I feel..and that just pushed him over the ledge. I have no idea what to think about it anymore, it is all so crazy.  I dont mean to sound on a high horse I'm just trying to build my confidence and be strong.  I am just trying to keep on keepin on that's all I can do. I just thought I would share. Hugs

Peace, Love Andie


Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Mon, 01-28-2013 - 2:08pm

Glad things are progressing nicely...except for a stalkerish hiccup every now and then.

I need to say though, sending off that letter to him was not a good idea...sending letters...any letters..even angry letters is never a good idea.  It did nothing for closure...in fact it kept the door open for him too try to prove you wrong...it did not put an end to anything.  It showed you were still engaged...even to an angry degree.

I know it's in the past, but I've been meaning to say something about that letter for a while.

Silence speaks volumes.  You probably know that now ;)

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Thu, 01-31-2013 - 1:19pm
Hi Clarity sorry it took so long to reply I couldnt log on. As for silence speaking volumes it still doesnt stop him. So let me tell you a little more my situation as my parents live upstairs my daughter likes to stay with them during the week she does her homework up there because I am usually at work and my Sir is out looking for work. Well last night my mom called me and asked me to bring her belt up so I do and as I am walking up there xap comes out and blocks the walkway and says what are you doing? Why does your little girl stay upstairs. It made me extremely uncomfortable my arm hairs stood up and I walked away. I told my parents and they said I should told him it's none of his business. I am just being strong I am one tough cookie. Hugs Peace Love Andie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2013
Thu, 01-31-2013 - 5:50pm

Wow! That's really scary. Please be careful.

Tam

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Thu, 01-31-2013 - 9:22pm

I'm sorry you have to go through this.  I hate to make any suggestion to break the silence, but isn't there anything your husband can do or say to make this guy leave you all alone? It's not like this guy has 'spilling the beans' over your head.  I telling you, MH would make sure this guy knew that continued harrassment would not be in his best interest.

Just sayin'...just askin'

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Thu, 01-31-2013 - 9:42pm

 Yeah my hubby has said something to him and xap partner tried to start a fight with my hubby. The xap threw the first punch and MH blocked him by grabbing his throat and putting him on the ground saying stay away from  my wife I wasnt there when it happened but I have heard about it. So he just doesnt care all he cares about is his ego even when we were in our fantasy he was always trying to push my boundaries and my instincts were already telling me something wasn't right. He would even ask me on occasion if he was pushing my boundaries.. again very uncomfortable unsettling instinct that's when I knew it had to end.  I am just being strong and keep on truckin.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Thu, 01-31-2013 - 9:45pm

Thanks Tam, I am being extremely careful will keep you all posted hugs

Peace Love Andie

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Thu, 01-31-2013 - 10:27pm

Grabbed him by the throat!  Excellent!  Oh...wait...am I suppose to be cool here and not condone that type of behavior?  Forgeddaboudit...excellent!

*sigh*...apparently it had no effect.  

Well then, keep on truckin' and doing what you are doing.  You're holding up pretty well under the circumstances.

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Thu, 01-31-2013 - 11:51pm
You know how many times I have wanted to fall apart from all this Clarity Allot but I cant. I have to be strong because being strong is the only option I have for my family and I and my marriage. That is what xap wants me to do is fall apart because it would probably give him some satisfaction in a sick way. I have no idea why he wont leave me alone is he trying to prove something or what? He told me during the a he wanted to know me forever now that is the creepiest thing I could possibly hear now. If I survive this I will be like Xena Warrior Princess hugs Peace Love Andie