Christmas Gifts for Enders

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Christmas Gifts for Enders
5
Fri, 12-24-2010 - 1:16pm

HELLO EVERYONE!!!

I know we're all probably VERY BUSY WITH REAL LIFE- surrounded by Family and friends - everyone we LOVE!!! during this beautiful holiday.

Im wondering.......in terms of Ending....IF WE COULD HAVE ANY CHRISTMAS GIFT WE DESIRED WITH RESPECT to where we are in our ending....

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Fri, 12-24-2010 - 3:34pm
Hmmm, any Holiday gift?

That's tough, there are many gifts to my ending that I could imagine; I guess I am at the point now that my wish would be for all those that I hurt so badly to FEEL my apology, and KNOW without a single doubt that it was nothing but the shortcomings in my xAP and I that created this hurt - that NO ONE else was responsible ON ANY LEVEL.

WE WERE NOT any better, better looking, smarter, funnier etc ... than the spouses we helped one another dupe.

I would want them to be free from the ALL the HURT ... I wish I could carry it for them.

TU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Fri, 12-24-2010 - 3:46pm

My GOD You're Selfless TU - Its caused me to Pause - and think long & hard before I state what gift I'd WANT.

But I have to tell you, Mine will likely be selfish.

You are really in the Christmas SPIRIT! Aren't you?!?!?

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Fri, 12-24-2010 - 4:11pm
hehehe No I am NOT selfish ... maybe it's because I will struggle for the rest of my life to forgive myself as long as I KNOW that people's lives were impacted SO negatively because they had the (mis)fortune of crossing my path.

Hey, I KNOW what I have to offer the world, that I am not defined by my affair or mistakes, I know that I am only human ad all that ... however, I am also VERY aware of how my decisions left those in my life (for instance, my children) vulnerable & sad. Not like an injury or illness ... but because of an affair.

So, while it may mean selfLESS, it also has a lot to do with giving myself permission to move on to have a happy life, and that that is ABSOLUTELY required of me so that my friends, family and children suffer NO LONGER from the impacts of the affair. THEY have suffered (long) enough ...

I can honestly say though, they have the best, most healthy mom they have ever had ... and I am in the BEST place that I have EVER been. I am filled with the smells of the dinner I have made from scratch, and all the presents are wrapped ... I AM PRESENT. Family dinner tonight with all of us - H included. See, I guess most of my most important wishes have already come true (-:

Much Love to you M. & your family.

YOU are an amazing gift to me & this board.

xo

TU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sat, 12-25-2010 - 2:04am

My Greatest Christmas Gift - would have to be -

seeing myself well down the road of HEALING my personal issues, to not be tripped up or distracted by all the shiny objects that offer a detour.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2010
Sun, 12-26-2010 - 12:16am

thanks for this...cool idea.

A gift to myself would be the gift of PEACE and contentment with the here and now and forgiveness of myself for the many bad choices since high school I have made that helped me land in the place I am now. I want to forgive and move on so that I can clear the decks. I need to get there in order to recognize a healthy relationship when I see it so that I know when it is worth trying for.

Love, Sunshine Dedicated to living my new life with integrity, truth and positive thoughts! I am worthy of true love and definitely worth the wait!