TO: Cl-noregrets

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
TO: Cl-noregrets
1
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 8:41pm
To Cl-noregrets--just read your post to me in another thread..but opened a new thread.
I've had a particularly hard day- and so I am going to try to say this with as little anger as possible. But your post has angered me. I don't care how much you think you know about affairs. My situation is based on something within ME that made it "ok", not my marriage or lack of anything here. I see a therapist and discuss my issues and have dealt with them. She also knows and understands this was not due to my marriage lacking.. I try when I come here to be helpful, and yes we all have blame to take but do not post here and blame my marriage for what I did--when I know in my heart that my marriage has nothing to do with it. You have no idea, and I think if you're going to be helpful to others, you have to realize you just don't know as much as you think you do--to be judging what another person's marriage is like.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 12:31pm

Hope your bad day has faded to history and today is going well.


I posted a rather lengthy response to you and Aspbr05 in the original thread and have added it as a separate thread before reading your post in this thread.


As to your counseling, keep it up. You are on the path to learning about yourself and what your expectations were from your marriage and why you chose to act as you've done so when all of your unspoken expectations weren't met.


I don't know all of your particulars. Nor do you know mine. However, I have yet to meet a happily married person who is participating in affairs. None. Choosing to be in an affair is a personal choice. And a conscious one. With justifications.


have you ever wondered what the effect of full disclosure would have on your marriage? I don't advocate doing so, however, if anyone's marriage is so strong that that it didn't contribute to the affair decision, wouldn't that mean that all communication lines between husband and wife were open and the attraction to someone else is being discussed with the spouse BEFORE the