coming here first

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
coming here first
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Wed, 11-10-2010 - 6:01pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2009
Wed, 11-10-2010 - 7:37pm

Ok, you jonesing crackhead (and by that I mean "my dear and darling Alice")

You KNOW what this is.

silence is eloquent, silence is dignified, silence is heard. ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
Wed, 11-10-2010 - 7:57pm
You will not write him because he will not say anything you want him to say. Or he will say what you want him to say but he won't mean it. Either way, writing him will be a huge step back. I know of what I speak. Let him go, feel the pain now or delay it because it is inevitable. I so wish I took thus advice one year ago. You don't realize it now but he gave you the gift of freedom. Some day you will see it clearly...
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2010
Wed, 11-10-2010 - 10:05pm

LOL...you ladies are a freaking riot!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Thu, 11-11-2010 - 8:22am
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Thu, 11-11-2010 - 9:45am
TU n the rest of the bunch nailed it. He will not hear you. You are not going to do a thing but stroke his ego...he will be unmoved by anything u say. U r think u can get thru to him but you can not. U can't. He is who he is. Why not show him better than anything u can say? I realize the urge...u have no idea...I even obsessed about anonymous emails...don't u do that...I wanted so badly to tell the jerk about himself...it would only make him think how concerned u r with him. U waNna get it all out, tell it here or journal...show him how strong u r. He expects to hear from you. Show him what ur capable of...show him. It's more affective than anything u could ever say...ever
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Thu, 11-11-2010 - 11:33am
TU n the rest of the bunch nailed it. He will not hear you. You are not going to do a thing but stroke his ego...he will be unmoved by anything u say. U r think u can get thru to him but you can not. U can't. He is who he is. Why not show him better than anything u can say? I realize the urge...u have no idea...I even obsessed about anonymous emails...don't u do that...I wanted so badly to tell the jerk about himself...it would only make him think how concerned u r with him. U waNna get it all out, tell it here or journal...show him how strong u r. He expects to hear from you. Show him what ur capable of...show him. It's more affective than anything u could ever say...ever
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Thu, 11-11-2010 - 5:58pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Thu, 11-11-2010 - 6:37pm
"well not this TIME PAL!! would you guys believe I am looking FORWARD to the first fishing attempt (okay so there might not be one..who cares?)?? but IF there is..I will have an ORGASM not responding to it"

Red flag thinking Alice.

Red flag.

It's like saying I can't wait for xAP to shiz on me and I won't wipe it off and show him that his stink don't bother me. or something like that.

It's disrespectful and hurtful when they care so little that they try to make it hard for you to move on with healing and living a happy life. Yes there is power in not responding, yes there is dignity in staying NC, but it feels very sad none the less that some xAPs feel entitled to have it all.

Power comes with deep introspection that brings a sense of understanding one's own motivations for engaging in the affair, for hurting others, ourselves included. Power does not coming from wishing ill-will toward others. Power comes from learning to let go, really let go ... Alice, your power is bigger than sticking to NC. Authentic power isn't about power-tripping ... I know it feels good to have some power back after tossing it away for so long, but it is victim thinking that is feeding into your need/want to imagine him sitting and wanting you to contact him and you holding out on him.

Just my 2cents.

And regardless, I am very freaking proud of you for continuing to push ahead in your healing. You're an amazing woman Alice and I wish you nothing short of a future where not one single moment is ever again spent thinking about him.

TU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Thu, 11-11-2010 - 6:54pm
My Red Flag...didn't u block? He should have not a single way to get thru to him. Not one. No excuses. Change and/or block everything. Everything!!!

U will never know if he tries to reach you are not. N it will eventually not matter! That should be ur peace, that he will not get thru even if he tried n u will never know...

All he will know is that u have obviously moved on...that's what matters
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Fri, 11-12-2010 - 4:46pm

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