Big hugs to you! Use that sense of humor to help you move forward, I laughed out loud on the train, got a few strange looks but I was so happy to see that icky dicky comment, you realize you won't get answers only more pain and bad feelings. Good for you on being committed to nc, you will feel stronger each day and be in a much better place for it:)
Okay - I am going to too! Let's check back into tonight and share a little of what we did with our children to feel good about ourselves as mothers. What do you say?!
* as an aside - THIS issue has been the hardest one for me to forgive myself for - the time taken away from my kids or the time being a crap mom ... before the affair I would have proudly said that I believed I was the best mom in the world. Yup - that good. I tossed that ALL away. They didn't know what hit them. I cried, I was irritable, distracted, impatient etc ... NOT so much anymore ... just the regular emotions of life. I can feel fine about being upset over a REAL LIFE disappointment, I can get angry and frustrated over REAL LIFE challenges ... because I can share those feelings with my children "Mom's feeling pretty sad today because I got some bad news about a paper I was working on ... " and then it can become a learning lesson for the children about feelings. Feelings, being weepy & distracted ARE all apart of REAL LIFE - it's just so darn regretful when they are about the mess created by an AFFAIR and not REAL LIFE.
To all those lurkers with children and are still in an affair - just for one moment allow yourself to realize YOU WILL NOT FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR THE PARENTING "DECISIONS" YOU ARE MAKING WHILE IN YOUR AFFAIR. When it ends, the horror of the time you stole from them, the way you treated your children - as an obstacle to your AFFAIR PARTNER ... it will all be revealed for the full on
WIWWM...Let me tell you a story of the biggest fisher woman I have ever known...new_season...You see I attempted to end my A last November and I went 50 days of NC and then guess who just HAD to go fish...Yep,
WIWWM. Thank you for posting your story. I tried fishing initially bit got nothing. I have analyzed xaps words and motives again and again. Sorry you had to be greeted with this kind of response but what can you expect he's JAM. You are so brave for posting. NC = no new hurts
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Big hugs to you! Use that sense of humor to help you move forward, I laughed out loud on the train, got a few strange looks but I was so happy to see that icky dicky comment, you realize you won't get answers only more pain and bad feelings. Good for you on being committed to nc, you will feel stronger each day and be in a much better place for it:)
Thank you TU.
We know it is vitally important for our children to be there for them -- first and foremost.
Okay - I am going to too! Let's check back into tonight and share a little of what we did with our children to feel good about ourselves as mothers. What do you say?!
* as an aside - THIS issue has been the hardest one for me to forgive myself for - the time taken away from my kids or the time being a crap mom ... before the affair I would have proudly said that I believed I was the best mom in the world. Yup - that good. I tossed that ALL away. They didn't know what hit them. I cried, I was irritable, distracted, impatient etc ... NOT so much anymore ... just the regular emotions of life. I can feel fine about being upset over a REAL LIFE disappointment, I can get angry and frustrated over REAL LIFE challenges ... because I can share those feelings with my children "Mom's feeling pretty sad today because I got some bad news about a paper I was working on ... " and then it can become a learning lesson for the children about feelings. Feelings, being weepy & distracted ARE all apart of REAL LIFE - it's just so darn regretful when they are about the mess created by an AFFAIR and not REAL LIFE.
To all those lurkers with children and are still in an affair - just for one moment allow yourself to realize YOU WILL NOT FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR THE PARENTING "DECISIONS" YOU ARE MAKING WHILE IN YOUR AFFAIR. When it ends, the horror of the time you stole from them, the way you treated your children - as an obstacle to your AFFAIR PARTNER ... it will all be revealed for the full on
WIWWM...Let me tell you a story of the biggest fisher woman I have ever known...new_season...You see I attempted to end my A last November and I went 50 days of NC and then guess who just HAD to go fish...Yep,
the post below was written in April after i had gone NC in February.
Yeah.
I think almost all of us can ask that question.
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