Contact after 3 and 1/2 years
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|Thu, 01-09-2014 - 6:57pm|
I was here many years ago both before and after I ended my A and yes, it has been three and a half years since I ended it. I did really well, never once contacted him, don't know if he ever tried to contact me since I blocked and deleted at every turn - it really was the only way.
Recently, over the holiday season we were both at the same event, unbeknownst to me. He approached me and we politely greeted each other. As my husband was present things were cordial. I'll admit, this being the first time I had seen him since the end my heart was racing but I remained calm and pleasant. The conversation was brief and non-descript: kids, work, our families (we were good friends before the A so we knew alot about eachother's personal lives) and then I avoided him the rest of the evening. Soon after New Year, I received a FB friend request from him - at the end of the A he was not on FB as he "detested" it so I never bothered to block him and I never searched for him. Naturally, I denied his request and quickly blocked him from seeing my account or contacting me through it. I thought that would be the end of it, but today I received a cell phone call from him. I didn't even have the same phone number back then so I can only assume that he got it from a mutual friend. I will admit to being a little shocked but decided it was time to stop running from him and listen to what he had to say. I let him say what he clearly needed to hoping that maybe he was looking for closure himself; but no. I got a running diatribe on how much he valued our friendship (remember we were good friends for many, many years prior) and how it hurt him losing such a "dear friend". He actually used those words. I let him have his say and then I told him that I had spent the last 3 years removing every trace of him from my life and that I simply was not ready to open that door again and that I don't know if I ever will again and asked him to respect that. Plain and simple. I then wished him all the best and hung up before he had the chance to say anything else. Will he respect it? I doubt it.
Initially, I was a little bothered by all this but now I'm just mad. Mad at him for intruding in my life and bringing with it such inner turmoil again, but mostly I am mad at myself for giving him that power to do that. I thought by now I would be indifferent and while I am indifferent to a certain degree, it bothers me that this situation, that HE, still upsets me. After three years I should not care at all about any of this but it still bothers me. Why? Why do I let it bother me?