could it get any worst?!?
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could it get any worst?!?
| Fri, 11-19-2010 - 6:31pm |
Hello everyone,
I am started new :( again. This has to be the millionth attempt to cut this crap out of my life. I did see him again just under 2 weeks ago. We ended up getting together :( it was horrible. We were talking and he actually admitted to me that he is having sex with another other woman. I felt sick! Ok so I have cut all ties to him. He is blocked. But I really don't think I can get him out of my system. I am crying all day and night. Prior to this I was NC for 2 almost 3 months and I was so miserable throughout. All I do is think of him :'( I hate that I do that. I really don't know why I am posting because I feel like there is no helping me. Do you want to know what is worst? I still miss him knowing what slime he is. I really need help! I really need to make sense of why I abuse myself the way I do with the thoughts I have of him. I am constantly making my self sick thinking that he is enjoying himself with these women and hate to say but I feel like yesterdays garbage :( I am just in a bad spot now. I also noticed that everything else in my life is suffering. Family, friendsn works etc. All gone to shizzzzz.
Thank you so very much for listening
I am started new :( again. This has to be the millionth attempt to cut this crap out of my life. I did see him again just under 2 weeks ago. We ended up getting together :( it was horrible. We were talking and he actually admitted to me that he is having sex with another other woman. I felt sick! Ok so I have cut all ties to him. He is blocked. But I really don't think I can get him out of my system. I am crying all day and night. Prior to this I was NC for 2 almost 3 months and I was so miserable throughout. All I do is think of him :'( I hate that I do that. I really don't know why I am posting because I feel like there is no helping me. Do you want to know what is worst? I still miss him knowing what slime he is. I really need help! I really need to make sense of why I abuse myself the way I do with the thoughts I have of him. I am constantly making my self sick thinking that he is enjoying himself with these women and hate to say but I feel like yesterdays garbage :( I am just in a bad spot now. I also noticed that everything else in my life is suffering. Family, friendsn works etc. All gone to shizzzzz.
Thank you so very much for listening

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Hi live Laugh Love!
WELCOME! Here's a kleenex, a pillow and a blanket and a HUG! You're where you BELONG.
I LOVE! YOUR MONIKER!!!! So appropriate.
I think EVERY person on this board landed feeling just as wiped out and pathetic as you do right now. Doesnt mean you are or we are or were...when you're running as fast as you can to get the heck out of such an addictive cycle that an affair is...You gotta land somewhere.
I can GUARANTEE YOU! If you're serious about getting out and getting better - YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT HERE - no matter how many times you've tried or even have
Dear Lx3 -
"But I really don't think I can get him out of my system. I am crying all day and night. Prior to this I was NC for 2 almost 3 months and I was so miserable throughout. All I do is think of him"
My dear friend - this is the stem from which so much grief comes.
I think I am getting what you are saying! I have nothing really going on in my life now as of lately so I will just stay in my house all day and sometimes I won't even get out of bed. I could see how that would be hurtful in my healing. I feel like I am depressed and sometimes I don't have it in me to even try :( I really don't know where to begin! I did start journaling again and came forth on eas again. I really feel desperate! I will just have to take baby steps!
Aw Lx3
You are so right about isolating yourself. I feel worst but at the same time it is all I want to do. I don't have that inner spark. That spark is gone. I wish I never met him!
Sorry but what did you mean by refining me?
Thank you so much for listening, people who I have talked to don't get it as they say you got over your ex but why not this guy you did not even have a relationship with him? Makes sense right? But this is different. I feel not only sadness of what ifs, but all the stupid things I have shamed myself with. Oh man I can't even get into that. Lol. I was not even really myself! Or was I? I am questioning my whole self now!
Hi LLL-
I remember you from when I started posting this past summer. I'm very glad you came back :) You are going through a lot right now, so please be patient and take it one minute at a time OK? You WILL get past this. And you will find a wonderful man of your very own to have a family with. You've already taken the first step - NC and coming back here. Just focus on that right now. You made it a few months before and you can do it again - but this time for good.
Volunteering at the hospital is a wonderful idea. When you start putting positive things out there, the universe will lob them right back at you :)
Bodhi
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