Could use advice, anyone else been here?
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 02-21-2005 - 10:22am |
I am so confused and mixed up. I love my DH, we have been together forever, since 10th grade in high school. We've been having problems, mainly him not helping me around the house or paying attention to me. We have a 1 year old son that he does help take care of, but other than that, nothing. He never pays attention to me at all. Never tells me he loves me, never asks how my day went, nothing. About a month and a half ago I started talking to a friend who is a guy. He has been wonderful. We've spent a lot of time together and talking and just hanging out. He makes me feel wanted and desired. He LISTENS to me and truly cares for me. He'll send me an email every morning just to say hi and see how I'm doing. We have been physical twice.
We both have come to the conclusion that we can not do anything like that again, but we both have extremely strong feelings for each other. He has told me repeatedly that if I was not married he would be with me in an instant but is afraid to tell me he loves me. Anyway, he obviously has no ties to me since I am in my situation. There are other girls that are interested in him and he tries to avoid it with me, but I'm not stupid. I can't expect him to hang around forever. I don't want him to. I want him to be happy. My question is, how do I not be jealous or hurt when he does? I know it's going to happen and if he is happy that is all that should matter to me. I just don't know how to deal with the hurt, because I am hurt that it is happening. Thanks for your advice.

Good luck
kat
brea,
i can only say that it is very painful if u continue down that road, u said u love your H, maybe u need to find out first what is wrong with your M, have u considered counselling, try to solve the issues in your marriage
OM is providing you with that attention u crave from H, it feels good, its gonna be addicting especially if u have been intimate already
this is just coming from experiece, stop it while u still can, if it goes on it will be harder to stop and people will get hurt in the end including yourself big time
max
Hugs,
kat
brea,
we make choices right, sometime it does not come out like we want it to be,how i wish i can turn back time and not get involve with OW in my case
too late now, now im hurt, no turning back but just moving forward
u still have your H, try to save M if u can, re-kindle that passion , compromise, being single and with H or W when having an affair is a bit different, the hurt is the same im sure
but u can re-build i think
for me, its too late already, im just gonna start from zero again
max
Brea
What XOM thinks or does not think really does not matter one whit, what does matter is what is going on in your husbands head and yours, time to end all e-mails and any other contact with XOM, time to focus and if need be FORCE the issues in your marriage out into the open in such a manor that you husband cannot forget them, his marriage is in deep problems and if he wants to keep it he has to get back into the ball game.
Often men don't seem to grasp how much trouble there in tell a affair or the wife tells them she is leaving, time to make it clear to your husband it's MC or it could be Divorce Court, you may even want to let him in on the fact that other men can see how unhappy you are and are offering to comfort you.
Free
Brea:
Just keep remembering your own words...that you want him to be happy.