crap those feelings are creeping in...!
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 02-10-2010 - 11:34pm |
Wow there must be something going on with the moon or something because it seems many of us are dealing with those feelings more than ever today. I am included. Up until like yesterday, I had felt pretty great and pretty strong about it all, knowing I had made the right decision. BUT today...20 days NC, I have looked at my email a few times today to see if there is anything from him and there is that little voice in my head today "you miss him, miss that touch, that spark, that affection, that attention" HELL YES I DO. He was a great lover. He may have been the best I ever had.
I am also going through an FN divorce and so... you guessed it ladies. There is no sex happening for me right now. Talk about cold turkey. No replacement sex right now. Maybe that's a good thing but it's also tough - especially since my soon to be ex H who I still have to live with before the house sells (yuck) is getting some from someone (double yuck) (he came home with marks all over his neck) (triple yuck).
Well so I am feeling pretty blah and unsexy and hungry for a little something. And oh do I miss those little afternoon rendezvous and those naughty little texts and emails and...
OK I must stop thinking about what WAS - which was all f'd up anyway. It wasn't real. It wasn't love. It wasn't right. It wasn't good for me. It was fantasy land, lacking integrity and commitment and genuine healthy relationship qualities.
And once again, when all else fails and I am weak and sad and incessantly looking for an email from him, I just think of his wife (who I don't even know or have ever seen) and that resets the needle back to zero for me.
We'll get through this...we will and we will be so much better for it.

Julia,
I think what's in the air is Valentine's Day and this frig'n Hallmark moneymaker gets under the skin of many who no longer have a special someone in their lives. Ironically, XAP's don't fall under the 'special' column as far as I am concerned. I look at VD now through completely different eyes. I couldn't tell you how many times I've heard some guy say, "Guess I'll have to get her something" with the least amount of enthusiasm possible. Men view this day as a hassle where women have hearts and flowers in their eyes. ;-)
<>
I'm glad you switched your thinking right in the middle of your post.;-) Reality checks keep us in the present and this is where we should always be anyway. As far as sex goes, your body is your temple and one should honor it as such. It's an extended expression of love and should be saved for someone who is worthy of you. I know, I know...that doesn't make 'those' urges any easier to ignore, but again, they will pass as do most feelings that only
~Iddy~
Hey Julia:
As you know, I am going thru a D as well.
KMG
If you want to email for extra support with someone who knows what you are going through - you can reach me at _____
Hope your day is going OK
Julia
Edited 2/11/2010 9:42 pm ET by julia_smiles
Julia,
Now that you've posted your email addy, please edit your post and remove it. All sorts of people read this board including those who hate affairs/APs, so you are exposing yourself to more harm by leaving it in your post. I am sure kmg has written it down by now. Never give out personal info on a message board. You could have requested kmg to respond to your profile email....and if you have not opted to receive emails, go to board settings and select that option.
((Hugs))
~ Iddy~
~Iddy~