At a crossroads...
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At a crossroads...
| Mon, 12-28-2009 - 4:44pm |
Okay Vets I'm ready for tough love here....
Ap and I are currently in a state of "trying friends". Nothing else has transpired since the talk we had deciding that. We've spoke a few times wishing each other a merry christmas, etc.... But nothing other then that.
Well, this friends thing has been harder on me then before.... He's distanced himself completely. That's not a "friend" to me. Yesterday I blocked him on facebook, which was

Of course the "friends thing" is more difficult to deal with especially if there are still feelings there even if you know what you are doing has to stop.
I tried the friends thing over and over again over the past 3 1/2 years b/c I thought that would make it easier for us to exist in each others real lives.....doesn't work...PERIOD.
You can email him , call him and let him know that you are through and that you are going N/C but then you have to really stick to it, even when he sends a text just to say hi...you have to hit delete. If this is just going to be a way to see one more time if you can make him change his mind or see if maybe he will say something that will let you know he still cares...don't bother....even if he does do that, it will just be words my dear and in the end that won't be enough for you. I have lived through this cycle many times.
I am on day 12 N/C (yeah for me) and my big test will be when he decides to send a text , I must hit delete and not respond. I have never been able to do this, in the past I always got sucked back in. This time I hope I
Before I reply to you So-Sad...I just have
I wish I had a good solution for you that worked but all I can tell you is my experience. Our situations are similar where as I am in the same circle of friends as my Xmm... I always thought
True Friendship
Have you ever wondered what the real essence of the saying "A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed" is? People talk about the true value of friendship actually without knowing what it stands for. True friendship is the one, in which the individuals do not have to maintain formalities with each other. Sharing true friendship is the situation, when the person you are talking about is counted as one among your family members, when the relation you share with him/her reaches a stage that even if you don't correspond for sometime, your friendship remains unscathed. Best friends need not meet up often to make sure that the friendship remains constant.
The trust between best friends is such that if one friend falls in trouble, the other will not think twice to help. If the bond between two friends is strong, true friends can endure even long distances. For them, geographical separation is just a part of life. It would not affect their friendship. They make it a point to stay in touch, even in the verge of being exhausted due to the drudgery of everyday life. True friendship never fades away. In fact, it grows better with time. True friendship thrives on trust, inspiration and comfort. Best friends come to know, when the other person is in trouble, merely by listening to their "Hello" over the phone. They can even understand each other's silence.
True friends don't desert each other when one is facing trouble. They would face it together and support each other, even if it is against the interests of the other person. Best friends don't analyze each other; they don't have to do so. They accept each other with their positive and negative qualities. Nothing is hidden between true friends. They know each other's strengths as well as weaknesses. One would not overpower the other. They would respect each other's individuality. In fact, they would understand the similarities and respect the differences. Best friends don't stand any outsider commenting or criticizing their friendship and they can put up a very firm resistance, if anyone does so.
True friends are not opportunists. They don't help, because they have something to gain out of it. True friendship is marked by selflessness. Best friends support even each other, even if the whole world opposes them. It is not easy getting true friends for the lifetime. If you have even one true friend, consider yourself blessed. Remember, all best friends are friends, but not all friends can be best friends. In this world of cynics and back stabbers, there are still some people who are worth being friends with. They have to be recognized and respected for being best friends, for the lifetime.
source: http://festivals.iloveindia.com/friendship-day/true-friendship.html
Honestly if you were to ask me if my XAP is a friend.. I know the answer and it is NO. He has already proved himself when I started to go through some bumps in my own path aside from him. I noticed that when I truly needed someone he was the one running as it was cramping his style. I was good for him when I was in good spirits though?!?