Cyber stalking

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
Cyber stalking
26
Tue, 12-22-2009 - 6:07pm
I'm only on my third day of NC but I am cyber stalking him and can't seem to stop even though i'm creeping myself out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 12:11am

lost,

what i told you on Im was the truth, i was hurting, i did want him to contact me, i was being open and honest with you. I have even posted it on this on the board. I have vented to you privately and this board publicly. But me wanting him to contact me does not mean I want to break nc....that was me venting and coming from a hurt place. I was having a tough night....as we all have. I wanted my ego stroked. But I have maintained NC, so I do not see how I am not following my own advice....the only advice I have given you is to stop being or think that you are being friends with wife....that is all. I have no relationship with mm wife and dont ever want or plan to. Maybe things are not clear...but I would not advise you of something....actually, would not advise anyone of anything that I would not follow myself....

as far as the NC cult, I am not sure what you speak of....plenty of us have broke it, and come here and have not been banished so to speak.....the vets might ask em some questions etc....and they share their stories....they come up with a plan for next time they are tempted...they do all kinds are stuff. they may be chastised a bit...but with love and hugs etc....

By our interactions and posts, you are a bright person and very strong willed...I wish you the happiness you deserve, the happiness you can only get by freeing yourself...take care

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2009
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 12:12am
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Edited 1/3/2010 3:36 pm ET by classy01
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2009
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 12:22am
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Edited 1/3/2010 3:37 pm ET by classy01
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 12:22am
you are so welcome...but its really courtesy of the board...but let me know if u need anything else
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 10:03am

Ahhh, yes, Cyber stalking....hmmm....BTDT; don't like having to admit it, and IMO it is a part of the ending process....to a point, that is. Letting go is the hardest part of ending an A. You have some strong days, and then the weather changes, and you are rolled up into a ball again on the floor. The good news is that is won't last forever. You will tire of having to continually force yourself to stand up again, placing one foot in front of the other and pushing once again against those winds of emotional adversity.

Okay, back to cyber-stalking. It's very similar to poking one's eye with a needle. What you read/see hurts like hell and then you wished you hadn't gone there. Actually it is a form of breaking NC, but only to damaging your own resolve. Any contact with their lives, their loved ones, their associates/friends will cause you pain. I guarantee it.

It's all about setting up boundaries and respecting them. In turn, you start to respect yourself again. You will begin to feel stronger, more empowered, and proud of yourself for tapping into a new well of self awareness and fortitude.

If you want to feel better and stop the hurting, have a long and serious talk with that face in the mirror. Only she/he knows the deep pain that is behind those sullen eyes staring back.

Toosmart, you've been on these boards long enough to know what it is you have to do.

(((Hugs))

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 12:59pm

You all are so right; it is self torture to cyber stalk.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 1:13pm

lost,

i feel you...we are in similar situations and we are close in time "out" of the A. We both did not even initially know we were in a A....I feel you.

I wish to God, my ex MM would change his number...so if I am even tempted I can not. I wish to God he would change it for real. I have not called it....not even blocked....but I have been tempted before, not lately, hopefully this keeps up. But take you not have his number as a blessing. I wish I knew nothing of the man, ever...I mean work number, cell, nothing. He has blocked me and I have blocked him, I asked him to block me....the only way for me to call him would be from some odd number and i have not had even the urge to do so, to even go thru the trouble. Wont say I have not thought of it tho. I bet thats confusing, but i hope you get my point. I wish I knew nothing of him, email, phone, address, nothing. it would be great if i knew nothing. thats why the little cyber stalking i did, its over now...all done, done for good. and yes it hurts....know that it does. but i feel better now than i did before...

and make sure you change and/or block yours.....if you have not done so already. U told me to but I cannot remember if you told me you changed yours....if you are done, GREAT, we are here for you if you need us. Each persons healing is different...and do what you have to, as long as you are really healing and moving on...we support you. Well I know I do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2008
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 2:24pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 3:01pm

Sorry, I didn't know I was on the "After the Affair" board.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2008
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 3:11pm