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|Tue, 08-26-2014 - 10:14pm|
I am so glad I found this forum. I too have been suffering with the heart breaking consequences of having an affair. Here is my story:
I met my AP at work. I am a nurse, he is a doctor. Sounds so typical. What started first as a friendship, quickly turned into an emotional affair. We started texting each other, calling, and I finally agreed to meet him at his house for lunch. As soon as I stepped in his house, he kissed me in a way I have never been kissed before. Although I felt guilty about this, I continued to see him and rationalize seeing him. This all started 8 months ago.
Throughout the affair, I have attempted to end things on several occasions. Each time feels like a the worst breakup Ive ever experienced. The longest I have gone with NC was for one month. I was starting to feel a lot better, and then my mind led me to believe that I could "be friends" with my AP. I am beyond tired of getting my heart broken. Every time I end contact with him, it gets harder. I get a text or call that says "I miss you" and fall into the trap all over again.
I am fairly young (24) and recently married. I am so disapointed in myself for letting this happen. My husband is a wonderful man who treats me great. My AP is 56 years old and separated. I know there is a huge age difference, but I have the best time when I am around him. I realize now that this is not real, just fantasy. I have started no contact again today. For the LAST time. It's time to protect my heart, and put everything I have into my marriage.