Daf, are you out there?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Daf, are you out there?
1
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 10:57am
Hi Daf. I just wanted to send you some hugs and let you know that I'm thinking about you. I haven't seen a recent post from you but I hope you're at least lurking out there. I'm sending my prayers and positive thoughts your way. Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2003
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 1:02pm

Hi Mo

I am just getting on today I have been doing some detective work this morning. Seems that I should have listened to a lot of you out there when it came to the neighbor and H's feelings. One of my friends called to see how I was doing last night and she mentioned that everytime she sees H now he is on the phone, talking in private. She told me to check the cell bill, I went to get it out of the file and it is gone, I know it was there because I just paid the bill last week. So thank god for the internet, I went on line and got the last 2 bills, because wouldn't you know that the cell bill hasn't gotten to me yet (think H intercepted). Anyway this months bill is triple what it normally is and I had taken DS's cell away middle Oct, so this time it wasn't him. I have gone thru the cell bills and found 20 pages of text messages between H and the neighbor along with twice daily calls, AM before he is home and PM after he leaves for work. Then last months has 47 Texts between them. I have called every number on there that I don't know and I think they are all legitmate friends of his. This means that both H and my neighbor have been playing me and lying to my face and in the process my kids have been put in the middle of this.

Now mind you this is all after my counseling this morning in which the counselor told me that patience is the key. She wants to talk to H individually before our joint session on Monday because she says she feels he is not being honest. When I told her what I thought about the calls, etc (mind you I didn't know the above until after) she told me to let it go, because I have done the same thing. Point taken but I couldn't let it go. What good does having this information do me know - I don't know but I will keep it here in my office just in case. I have been physically ill all morning and I just don't know what to do.

THe counselor told me this morning that I have to be patient and be present in H's life. Stress that we do things as a family, that I am home as much as possible and sitting in the same room. She told me that I have until after the holidays to get H to change his mind but that I can't suggest, argue or anything. She thinks the longer we are in the same house, doing all the "normal family" things that it might break down H's wall. But I have to say in light of what I have found out this morning I just don't know.

I have to go for awhile I will check in later, I am sorry this is all over the place.

DAF