Daf, how are you doing?
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Daf, how are you doing?
| Thu, 10-21-2004 - 9:05am |
Hey Daf, I was thinking about you last night and I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing - and how your H is doing. Stay on track and post with an update. Love, Mo.


HI Mo, Thanks for thinking of me, I need all the positive thoughts I can get right now. I am about the same. I went to counseling last night, she even took me early and for a bit longer because I was in the waiting room crying, I just can't seem to stop. I told her everything and she has agreed that H should come to counseling and maybe we can work thru the issues or at least get them to the surface. So next Tuesday will be the day.
When I got home I gave H the article Posie suggested I read yesterday, he pulled all the negative out of it, but that's ok at least he agreed to read that one. He is still wishy washy on counseling, now he says he will think about it. He said now that he has processed everything he can't continue, so I asked him why he can't even talk to me and he admitted he didn't know what to say. He is still saying that our M is over and that isn't going to change. I asked him to at least go into counseling with an open mind and see if we can't get things out in the open. I think he will go. My counselor thinks because he has been so calm about everything and stopped talking/asking questions 4 wks ago that he has it all pent up. I guess all I can do now is wait and try and get thru each day.
One thing that really is confusing is that he is doing/acting normal, except in regards to me. The isolation I feel is what is unbearable I don't know how to deal with it. Besides me asking him questions (just about everyday things) he doesn't speak to me. Sometimes I just sit there and look at him and he doesn't even look my way. It hurts and I know he must be in pain too, so I am just not saying anything.
I have to go for now, thanks for caring.
DAF
Daf
Behind that stiff upper lip of your husbands is a huge amount of pain, that pain is coloring everything he says thinks and does, he has not processed as much as he thinks he has, he does need the help of anexperienced friend or a good councelor to help deal with it.
He does not really know his real feelings for you or your marriage because all that pain is blocking his view, he needs to get it out before he can be expected to really deal with the future.
Hang in there for the time being this has to be about your husband.
Free