DANG-IT!!! I am NOT leaving MY JOB!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2009
DANG-IT!!! I am NOT leaving MY JOB!!!
11
Thu, 04-29-2010 - 2:06pm

You know what ladies, I am NOT going to quit my job for XAP!!! NO WAY!!!! I love my job and ALL the people I work with and I'm not going to let him think "I'm running away from him" all that does is make me look weak anyway.


So I have decided I am staying. I can feel myself get stronger everyday (not saying I don't have hard emotional moments) but I am doing better day by day. I still need all of your support because there are going to be hard days ahead.


THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT, YOUR ADVICE, YOUR TIME, YOUR SUPPORT AND YOUR CONCERN. LOVE YOU ALL!!!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2010
Fri, 04-30-2010 - 11:51pm

HI

I still live next door to my ex AP's place of business where he is every weekend but I really didnt want to sell my house. I love my house and live in it with my two grown sons and being in the same building with them mean the world to me. (I am divorced many years).

I DID however recently install a fence and tall shrubs to keep the AP and me from doing any visual contact (I am past 365 NC at this point). It really hurt so badly early in the year of NC, knowing how close by he was to me, yet how FAR. I suffered greatly with the proximity for a great part of the past year and every other time I tried to break up with him in the past.

I think putting up the fence changed so much for me, however. It signaled to him loud and clear "I am not available to you anymore" which I what I need to remind myself every weekend. It also gave me the ability to garden in my front yard at long last without fear of running into him. I adore gardening.

Our A went on and off again for many years unfortunately and yes I do see my role as a willing "victim" in all of it now. I wish I had had the guts to put up that fence years ago but I was trying too hard back then to play the perfect lil OW and never complain and win his heart so he would leave his M and be with me. Oh what a silly stupid girl I was. Basically I let have him his cake and eat it too and believe me, he wasn't worth it and he didn't deserve it! The guy does not exactly need anymore "kudos" from any more women, grandiose type that he is.

aarrggh

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