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Registered: 12-31-1969
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13
Thu, 09-13-2012 - 10:35pm

I finally pulled the trigger on ending my affair today.  The discussion started yesterday for us, but the actual ending didn't happen until today.  What a draining two days it has been. 

 

I know it is the right decision, but I feel so raw right now.  I'm already second guessing myself, but there is no undoing it this time around (we've tried to end before).  This time it's different.  I laid it all out on the table about why I couldn't go on anymore.  I don't want to go through the last two days of hell again. 

 

I didn't realize how painful this would be.  I am praying for the strength it will take to get through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
In reply to:
Thu, 09-13-2012 - 11:06pm
Hi TNM - and welcome to the roller coaster ride. If you have tried to end before you know a bit about the ups and downs of being in, and out, and in again. Ending is it is own ride, so go slowly at first, but be firm in your mind - you have ended, you are headed in the right direction, and there will be bumps along the way. Come here when you need to vent r cry, and read in the Healing library to see what others have found useful. Every A has its differences but there are many things common to all.

Sending you hugs for the raw feelings, and strength to keep on going -

Daisy
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
In reply to:
Fri, 09-14-2012 - 11:32am
The pain of continuing is worse than the.pain of ending, once you get through the first few.weeks.

You can do this. Congratulatuons on taking back your life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
In reply to:
Fri, 09-14-2012 - 10:45pm
You can do this! We are here to support you. You are not alone!
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
In reply to:
Sat, 09-15-2012 - 8:58am
Morning TNM - how's it going? I hope you are still feeling the calm, and know that yes you did make the right decision! I am glad you are reading and finding help in the words of the many others who have walked, crawled, and slogged this path. you are not alone!

Daisy
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
In reply to:
Sat, 09-15-2012 - 9:32am
How are you today sweetheart?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
In reply to:
Sun, 09-16-2012 - 11:14am
Those three days are huge! You really should be proud. Seriously, those are the toughest in my opinion. Your starting to break patterns and habits. And withdrawal is heavy on your heart. But you did it. You got thru it. Build on it...

That anger, if temporary, is a good thing. And quite typical. You slowly begin to see the ugly truth of things and if it keeps you NC, so be it. It is my hope that it subsides and you continue to heal. There will be more highs and lows but as long as you stay the course, you will get to know yourself again, the new and better you...you will smile. And you will live again. And you will inhale all the goodness that comes with putting you and your health first....keep me posed. I am looking forward to watching you grow
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida