Day 1

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2012
Day 1
9
Fri, 04-27-2012 - 5:06pm
Its now just over a day of NC

More a sad day than anything else, I dont feel much else. LOts of tears and ai have been very slow to get anything done

Checked my phone a million times, thats a legacy of the affair I hate, the obsession with the phone and one of the first things I want to break

I have to stop myself going back to those final texts in my head. I keep on thinking maybe i could have worded them softer, and then am reminding myself that he has just spent a week ignoring me that was his choice and he hurt me everyday, not through words but through actions

My last words to him were "my needs are not being met "

They play over in my head

This weekend I have to through myself into the children and keep the tears away
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2011
Fri, 04-27-2012 - 5:11pm
<>

research - I commend you. What amazing parting words. Do you know how much I have kicked myself that I never said exactly those words since the ending? I wish I had communicated my needs but it doesn't matter now. What's said, unsaid is done. Time to focus on the next day for us both.

If ever there was a way of gaining closure, you sure have found it because you have realised all by yourself, not from XAP, that your needs weren't being met and that is why you both entered and left the affair. Such a head start on the path to healing and ending. Congratulations.

EO
The first day of the rest of my life: 25/10/2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2012
Fri, 04-27-2012 - 5:16pm
I hadnt thought of it that way, thankyou for sharing that
Most of the affair I was too "scared" to express my needs for fear I would lose him

What a silly thing to feel. I am really glad I said it to. And I am looking forward to starting T on Tuesday and digging into why I repeatedly gave myself to him whilst those needs were not being met

Thanks for the reply EO
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Fri, 04-27-2012 - 5:36pm
The phone obsession is the worst!!! I will tell you it is so freeing it is to be able to leave home without your phone...or go to the bathroom at work without your phone....or be able to spend time with friends/family without feeling to need to immediately answer a text. That day will come for you Research....you're already on your way!!
The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Fri, 04-27-2012 - 7:04pm

RG,

I hope you have blocked him from your phone.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Fri, 04-27-2012 - 7:11pm
Freedom from the tyranny of the phone of the phone is a wonderful thing RG. Looking.forward.to that for you.
Congrats on.your first.full day of NC. One.day you never have to go through again.if you stay the course!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2012
Fri, 04-27-2012 - 7:11pm
Thanks RBM
Yes blocked our normal chat app
Phone carrier doesnt allow block numbers so looking into an app for that
But we didnt call much
Texted mainly

I was looking I guess out of habit even though i blocked the chat

So my next step is to go out on the weekend without the phone
Heck even go to the bathroom without it

Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Sat, 04-28-2012 - 10:27am

RG-

OMgoodness, yes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
Sat, 04-28-2012 - 11:22am
From personal experience I can tell you that you should find any way possible to block, I made it three weeks and he fished, I was doing so good and he got to me block for your own sake!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2012
Sat, 04-28-2012 - 3:16pm

I am almost 100% sure he will fish, he will see the end as sudden even though it is the second time and I have been crying around him almost non stop for the past 6 weeks.