Day 1 of NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2010
Day 1 of NC
8
Fri, 02-11-2011 - 7:28pm

Well, I've made it well into Day 1 without even starting to reach out to xMM, though it hasn't been easy. I decided to work from home today so I wouldn't have to see him. I knew he would attempt to talk to me if I was there today, not that that stopped him; I've received two emails so far, and I immediately deleted them. Spent most of the morning crying my eyes out some more.

I think the hardest part is what seems to be my co-dependency on him. I loved knowing I had someone (someone IN ADDITION TO my husband, that is) to reach out to whenever I wanted/needed. I guess this will be a long process of changing my old instincts: Feeling bored? Email MM! Feeling naughty? Email MM! Feeling lonely? Email MM! Now, whenever I want to do that...I guess I will be reporting to EAS...

How is everyone else doing today?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2011
Fri, 02-11-2011 - 8:32pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Fri, 02-11-2011 - 8:40pm

Hello,

Just like DL said, good work on Day 1. Staying at home was a wise move as you'll have a few days of NC under your belt before you see him again.

Yes ... time to learn to sit in the company of yourself without having the urge to use another person to entertain & validate you. The examples that you cited - feeling bored, naugty & lonely ... are telling. LOOK at these. These are the times you are USING someone else to take care of you, entertain you and fill a void in you. This has nothing to do with xAP and everything to do with what you're trying to run & hide from.

((HUGS))

TU.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Fri, 02-11-2011 - 10:16pm
Good work. Each day will get easier and soon you will be at the one week mark. You can do this. Keep reading and posting
Lots of hugs
MC
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Fri, 02-11-2011 - 11:29pm

Congrats to You!

Let me tell you 1 day is HUGE. It's deciding to finally do it and MEAN it by taking the plunge.

And how are you feeling Now as a result?

Keep on putting one foot in front of the other, day by day, youll find youve walked 1,000 steps towards feeling better.

Welcome,

Michelle

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Sat, 02-12-2011 - 7:09am

Welcome to EAS, Silver!

It may not feel like it right now, but you deserve a big congratulations for ending a very selfish and self-destrudtive act--engaging in an affair.

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Sat, 02-12-2011 - 9:56am

Day 1 is one day closer to healing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2011
Sat, 02-12-2011 - 4:42pm
I'm right behind you there Silver. Made the choice just this morning. When I read your comment about "Feeling bored? Email MM! Feeling naughty? Email MM! Feeling lonely? Email MM!" it made think to the way things were before they got "physical". I honestly think my husband dislikes communicating with me, and any thought that entered my brain, I immediately thought of xAP. He was always there. It felt so good to have someone to talk to. At least that's what I thought, until he got what he wanted. But like you said, now I'll report here! Can't wait to hear how you're doing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sat, 02-12-2011 - 8:46pm

Dear Silver,

How was day 2?

Hope youre able to catch some good breaths & share a few smiles with those around you!

Michelle

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010