Day 11 NC and THE EMAIL!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
Day 11 NC and THE EMAIL!!
10
Thu, 10-15-2009 - 11:36pm

OMG. I predicted xAP would ramp things up and I was right. Yesterday I posted about the 3 dozen roses he sent me. I didn't respond and I don't think he could stand that so today he sends a LONG email (the longest ever from him). It is full of all the stuff he's been thinking in the 2 weeks since I "went silent" blah, blah, blah. I know I should have deleted it, but I happened to first see it from my Blackberry and continued to scroll and read.


I will NOT respond. I don't even feel the need to respond. He rambles on about his new position and how there is an apt above the office that he could live in while he gets settled in his

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Fri, 10-16-2009 - 12:19am

I noticed a lot of "I"'s in his email. Seems it's all about him and what a great loss that is to you! Wrong!


His ego is taking a hit. Just continue to ignore him, don't be tempted to write him back and apologize. You are now in control and that's the best place to be. Hugs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
Fri, 10-16-2009 - 7:36am

Lofluv,


I am so very proud of you for standing your ground considering how hard XAP is trying to sweep you off of your feet again.

Iddy

<

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2009
Fri, 10-16-2009 - 11:47am

Just goes to show why we should delete all emails before reading them.

I just love the mantra here

"No new contact, no new pain"

I'm guessing reading that email didn't help your healing process. I'm standing with you in recovery.

"You Cant Lose What You Never Had" ---

Muddy Waters
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2009
Fri, 10-16-2009 - 1:36pm

Dear lofluv -


First of all, just want to say congratulations on your progress and on the commitment that you have made to get out of this mess and do the right thing for yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
Fri, 10-16-2009 - 7:57pm

Bright,


Thanks for your thoughts. I am taking this to heart, but am also the kind of person that may now worry what everyone else thinks when I post about and that is not good for me--with where I am right now. But I really do appreciate the viewpoint.


"We are told here to block and at the very least delete communications from xap.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
Sat, 10-17-2009 - 8:59am

If I got a dollar for every time a gal posted on these boards that their XMM "said or

Iddy

<

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2009
Sat, 10-17-2009 - 2:40pm

Lofluv -


I understand that everyone has a process by which they end their A and get healthy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
Sat, 10-17-2009 - 3:23pm

Bright and Iddy,


Thanks for both of your responses. I will completely take it to heart. I want to remain empathetic and compassionate and will

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2009
Sun, 10-18-2009 - 10:15am

Hi Lofluv,

For me it was good to read what your xAp wrote. I am still
struggling with the ending and having read what your xAP
wrote, prepares me for what can be expected from any other xAP. Otherwise I might think: "oooh, my xAP is the only one who is saying things like that, so romantic, so loving" Yada yada yada
I am so proud of you how you are handling things!!! well done!!!

Hugs
Htgo

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Mon, 10-19-2009 - 1:45pm

Hi BD,


I agree with you and ID's (Iddy's) replies. Thanks for your reply to my other post. I haven't been on for a few days so I didn't have a chance to reply to your reply. I always enjoy reading your posts...kudos!


Lofluv. First congrats. on giving the flowers away. I was going to answer the flower post by saying that I would not have kept them. For me it would be like someone coming in and burglarizing my house and then trying to send me flowers after such a violation. I know I was partly responsible

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.