Day 11 NC and THE EMAIL!!
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Day 11 NC and THE EMAIL!!
| Thu, 10-15-2009 - 11:36pm |
OMG. I predicted xAP would ramp things up and I was right. Yesterday I posted about the 3 dozen roses he sent me. I didn't respond and I don't think he could stand that so today he sends a LONG email (the longest ever from him). It is full of all the stuff he's been thinking in the 2 weeks since I "went silent" blah, blah, blah. I know I should have deleted it, but I happened to first see it from my Blackberry and continued to scroll and read.
I will NOT respond. I don't even feel the need to respond. He rambles on about his new position and how there is an apt above the office that he could live in while he gets settled in his

I noticed a lot of "I"'s in his email. Seems it's all about him and what a great loss that is to you! Wrong!
His ego is taking a hit. Just continue to ignore him, don't be tempted to write him back and apologize. You are now in control and that's the best place to be. Hugs.
Lofluv,
I am so very proud of you for standing your ground considering how hard XAP is trying to sweep you off of your feet again.
Iddy
<
Just goes to show why we should delete all emails before reading them.
I just love the mantra here
"No new contact, no new pain"
I'm guessing reading that email didn't help your healing process. I'm standing with you in recovery.
Muddy Waters
Dear lofluv -
First of all, just want to say congratulations on your progress and on the commitment that you have made to get out of this mess and do the right thing for yourself.
Bright,
Thanks for your thoughts. I am taking this to heart, but am also the kind of person that may now worry what everyone else thinks when I post about and that is not good for me--with where I am right now. But I really do appreciate the viewpoint.
"We are told here to block and at the very least delete communications from xap.
If I got a dollar for every time a gal posted on these boards that their XMM "said or
Iddy
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Lofluv -
I understand that everyone has a process by which they end their A and get healthy.
Bright and Iddy,
Thanks for both of your responses. I will completely take it to heart. I want to remain empathetic and compassionate and will
Hi Lofluv,
For me it was good to read what your xAp wrote. I am still
struggling with the ending and having read what your xAP
wrote, prepares me for what can be expected from any other xAP. Otherwise I might think: "oooh, my xAP is the only one who is saying things like that, so romantic, so loving" Yada yada yada
I am so proud of you how you are handling things!!! well done!!!
Hugs
Htgo
Hi BD,
I agree with you and ID's (Iddy's) replies. Thanks for your reply to my other post. I haven't been on for a few days so I didn't have a chance to reply to your reply. I always enjoy reading your posts...kudos!
Lofluv. First congrats. on giving the flowers away. I was going to answer the flower post by saying that I would not have kept them. For me it would be like someone coming in and burglarizing my house and then trying to send me flowers after such a violation. I know I was partly responsible
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.