Day 2 done successfully... now day 3

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Day 2 done successfully... now day 3
11
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 10:33am
Hi again everyone... Your words of support are helping me so much! I made it all the way through day 2. I had 4 hangup calls made to my home (none on the cell), one messenger message (which was very strange) and an email sent to work today from an organization he belongs to (I was on the bulk mailing for that). In that, he mentions being away for a few weeks and I am sure he is waiting for some kind of response from me. It is not going to happen. I will not respond to the messenger message or the email. As for the hangups, can't stop those, but hopefully they will decrease over time. Oh, and just now, a hangup at work... geez....

As the childish behavior on his part continues, it is doing nothing but reinforcing the fact that I have done the right thing.

Don't get me wrong, this hurts and hurts bad, but I am focused here at work and will be busy again tonight, so I won't have much time to dwell on that.

One day, one hour, one minute at a time.....

You guys are the best and thank you!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2003
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 10:44am
Way to go, you are doing great!!! You are much stronger than you realize, hopefully you have started to see that in yourself. Congrats!!!!
Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 11:37am
I had the hangups for a while, and they all disappeared one day. Kind of gives me the spooks, like it is the calm before the storm.

Anyway, you are doing GREAT! Grab day three by the gonads, you are doing GREAT! Tomorrow is four weeks for me, and I remember how agonizing the first week was....it DOES get easier, you don't believe it now but it does.

Jazzdiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 12:15pm
I fear that it is the calm before the storm. I am worried that he may say/do something stupid. No more hangups yet today, but there have been days when I have had a dozen or more hangups. They only happened during the times he was angry at me and not talking. I worry that he will contact the man I am currently seeing, which is something he threatened to do before. I would NEVER call his W and tell her about anything. I would not stoop to that level. She already knows there was someone else during part of the time he lived here and I feel terrible about that, but whatever he decides to tell her is up to him. That is not my decision to make.

I am not going to let his behavior dictate what I am doing now. I will not be frightened into contact with him. He will NOT win this......

Congratulations on the 4 weeks! I look forward to being able to say that...

Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 12:25pm
Well he is a fool for threatening to contact the man that you are seeing, given that he has a wife at home. If he does do something stupid then I suggest you get an order of protection, or file harassment charges. It is sad that you would have to stoop to that with someone you care about but he has no right to infringe upon your life! Calling you on the phone 12 times a day to hang up is a form of stalking. I live in fear that XOM will get angry at me one day and contact H, if it weren't for that then I would be testifying against him in court when he fights for custody. I feel that he is close to a mental breakdown and it is just a matter of time before he goes nuts. He told me once that he wanted to burn down the house his ex lives in after he boards up the door and windows....he really scared me at first but then dont we all say crazy things when we're emotional?

It is sad that we are talking this way about men that we loved, don't you think? What does that say about these men?

Jazzdiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 12:50pm
Well, now 4 hangups today here at work. I also fear that he is losing it. He does have some medical conditions that make him susceptible to wild mood swings and it does scare me. I don't really know what he might be capable of when he is not thinking rationally. He has made no threats or anything like that, at least since June. In June, before he moved back, he threatened to go over to the house of the man I am seeing. He found out the man's name and where he lives. Plus, one hangup that I know of had been placed to the man that I am seeing. That happened a while ago and was done with a calling card. The same numbers as when he calls me on the cell. He, of course, denied it, but I do think it was him.

Yes, I did/do love the man and why? Heaven only knows. Maybe I need to build up some anger toward him and replace the love with anger?

This is not a good day.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 3:15pm
Go day three go! Good for being busy at work. Now just keep that up when you are at home as well. Take time for you and things you enjoy. I am glad you are getting reinforcements to help. That is a big help. It doesn't help when everything looks good like he/she really was an angel when you know they were not and are not. Keep it up and keep us posted.

Hugs

Cali~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 9:40pm
As day three winds down, the tally for hangup calls today is six. Four at work and two at home, so far. According to his clock, the night is still early, but I hope there are no more hangups. Again, this just reinforces that I made the right decision.

Tell me though, why do I love the man? I am beginning to wonder if he is unstable and it is a little scary....

Although I don't post often, I read the board every day and keep it up at work, so I can refer to it all throughout the day. This is a wonderful place of acceptance and support....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 9:46pm
Darn it... want to say something else instead though... now seven calls. I hesitate when I answer and he is still on the line, but before I get a chance to stay stop it, he hangs up. I know it is him.

I want him to go away now. Just to go.

Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 9:47pm
well...i guess hanging up is not like he's calling and saying things to hurt u...it just bothers me that this guy couldn't have u, but he didnt want anyone else to have u either. truly loving someone is letting them go....

i just get crazed over stuff like this because my sister had a crazy ex boyfriend who turned out to be some kind of lunatic... just be careful, okay?

Jazzdiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Wed, 12-03-2003 - 10:00pm
Thank you. The only good thing is he lives 400 miles away now. I don't think I have to worry about him showing up on my doorstep, but he can still make my life miserable, even from a distance...

I just keep telling myself, don't call back, don't call back.....

and I won't.

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