Hazel, Man, I don't envy you in your difficult LC situation. It must be sooo amazingly horrid! Day two is DAY TWO! Whoo-hoo! At this stage of the game, it beats the h&ll out of Day One! One day at a time, and keep in mind that soon you will have so many days under you belt that you will have lost track. I promise it gets easier (just keep up the good work.)
If I could do cartwheels, I would do them for you! But I know if I tried, I'd just hurt myself or break something...maybe both. I've never been very good at them...anyway! I'll echo Dee, I don't envy that situation at.all! And you did amazing! Yay for you! Seriously, day two is day two as Dee says, and it beats day one for sure! You've got one behind you, and tomorrow you can say: day 3! I shall toss some confetti in your honour! ;)
---- 'It may be that when we no longer know what to do, We have come to our real work, And that when we no longer know which way to go, We have begun our real journey' - Wendell Berry
Iddy, thanks :) I will put those rules in my toolbox for NC. I have to remind myself that the urge WILL pass, and that I'm not going to die if i don't give in to it. Sometimes it feels like that.
Iddy, you are a great source of support and firm yet gentle guidance on this board- I read your posts even as a lurker. Thanks :)
You're welcome for the smile and confetti :) And now I must say 'thank you' to you for this:
"just because I am tempted and feeling weak, it doesn't mean I have already failed, and it doesn't mean i have to give in to it. I need to learn to breath and sit in the restlessness and the temptation until it passes. That, though, is hard. It's hard not to reach for your fix."
I know Iddy already zoned on this, but I needed to as well. This is gold...you are so right! And, that really has helped me. Sometimes I feel like...well, that I shouldn't feel like I do! Just because I'm sad, or tempted, or hurt or upset...doesn't mean I've failed, it's not necessarily a 'step back', it's just a part of healing and getting through this. We'd all be kidding ourselves if we thought it was easy...it's the working (or sitting as you say) through that nearly overwhelming urge to reach out, and then the pain and longing that comes with it. No fun! But...it's good to remember that just because we are feeling those things, though not acting, doesn't mean we've failed. A good way to look at it, because we don't need to add anything else to the pile to beat ourselves up over!
---- 'It may be that when we no longer know what to do, We have come to our real work, And that when we no longer know which way to go, We have begun our real journey' - Wendell Berry
I often get down on myself, thinking- why am i struggling!? This should be easier. I should be stronger. I shouldn't be feeling tempted....but then I realize- hey, I am doing the best i can, i am making it, and i need to remain gentle with myself. I get frustrated that I can't just wipe the slate clean, and move on with things. What a mess this is. sigh.
Hazel,
Man, I don't envy you in your difficult LC situation. It must be sooo amazingly horrid! Day two is DAY TWO! Whoo-hoo! At this stage of the game, it beats the h&ll out of Day One! One day at a time, and keep in mind that soon you will have so many days under you belt that you will have lost track. I promise it gets easier (just keep up the good work.)
Cheers and wishes for strength.
Dee
I'll echo Dee, I don't envy that situation at.all! And you did amazing! Yay for you! Seriously, day two is day two as Dee says, and it beats day one for sure! You've got one behind you, and tomorrow you can say: day 3! I shall toss some confetti in your honour! ;)
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry
Edited 3/11/2010 6:26 pm ET by hazelrose2009
HR,
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Excellent way to put it. Around here we have a 15 minute rule for thinking/obsessing about XAP....JUST 15 min. to feel
~Iddy~
Iddy,
thanks :) I will put those rules in my toolbox for NC. I have to remind myself that the urge WILL pass, and that I'm not going to die if i don't give in to it. Sometimes it feels like that.
Iddy, you are a great source of support and firm yet gentle guidance on this board- I read your posts even as a lurker. Thanks :)
Edited 3/11/2010 6:27 pm ET by hazelrose2009
Edited 3/11/2010 6:27 pm ET by hazelrose2009
You're welcome for the smile and confetti :) And now I must say 'thank you' to you for this:
"just because I am tempted and feeling weak, it doesn't mean I have already failed, and it doesn't mean i have to give in to it. I need to learn to breath and sit in the restlessness and the temptation until it passes. That, though, is hard. It's hard not to reach for your fix."
I know Iddy already zoned on this, but I needed to as well. This is gold...you are so right! And, that really has helped me. Sometimes I feel like...well, that I shouldn't feel like I do! Just because I'm sad, or tempted, or hurt or upset...doesn't mean I've failed, it's not necessarily a 'step back', it's just a part of healing and getting through this. We'd all be kidding ourselves if we thought it was easy...it's the working (or sitting as you say) through that nearly overwhelming urge to reach out, and then the pain and longing that comes with it. No fun! But...it's good to remember that just because we are feeling those things, though not acting, doesn't mean we've failed. A good way to look at it, because we don't need to add anything else to the pile to beat ourselves up over!
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry
wc :) glad i could help in some small way.
I often get down on myself, thinking- why am i struggling!? This should be easier. I should be stronger. I shouldn't be feeling tempted....but then I realize- hey, I am doing the best i can, i am making it, and i need to remain gentle with myself. I get frustrated that I can't just wipe the slate clean, and move on with things. What a mess this is. sigh.