Day 3 of NC and it's killing me

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2012
Day 3 of NC and it's killing me
5
Wed, 04-11-2012 - 7:47pm

This is day 3 of NC, I've bawled to the point my eyes hurt and I want to throw up. My H knows that my xAP was an old bf from highschool and that we had become close friends a few years ago. He knows that xAP (close friend) ended the friendship abrubtly. So, he understands being upset..but not this upset..

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2011
Wed, 04-11-2012 - 8:24pm

I remember those first days of being physically sick from the withdrawal from xap.

Sometimes you just have to die a little inside in order to be reborn and rise again as a stronger and wiser version of you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2012
Wed, 04-11-2012 - 8:45pm

Thank you just.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Wed, 04-11-2012 - 8:47pm
Sweetheart, the only way to the other side of the pain is through it. I really, really wish there was another way.
I was very good friends with my xAP before the A. For a decade.

Then we had a 2 year A that ended 11 months ago.

And then after 4 months of NC, he asked me to please be his friend again.

It does not work. I tried it for 3 months.

And now I am at 3+ months NC again.

NC = No new hurts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2012
Wed, 04-11-2012 - 9:05pm

Rain,

What happened after you became friends again? Did it start over or was just being friends too painful even?

thank you

thinking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Fri, 04-13-2012 - 8:03am
Thinking, I hope you are still reading even if you haven't entirely decided to end it yet.

My A did not start again. However it was still incredibly painful. I think any woman who has tried it will tell you that. In my case xAP was too casual. I realize he was "trying to be good". I don't know that he knew how to be close to me without being too close, if that makes any sense.
The conversation was all very "so, how's the weather? Kids good?". On my side too. I tried a few times to talk about some real things, like how he felt about their transcontinental move, but he wouldn't engage.
It made me feel like an after thought. And it was painful after having been such good friends for so long before A.
When he had first broken NC he made me feel like he really valued our friendship and wanted it back. But the actual "being friends" was shallow and depressing.